


always giving, never taken

by Kittycombs



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, De-Aged, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I have them sleep a lot because everyone in Star Wars deserves a nap, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Misuse of the Force, Obi my guy you are being a huge fuckin brat, Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Padawan Obi-Wan, Young Obi-Wan Kenobi, anakin is strongly Pro-Hugs, anakin skywalker is a whiny drama queen, but not in like.....a sexy way, co-napping, even i dont know what the fuck this is, except Palpatine, fuck palaptine, in other words i have poor self control in general, obi wan kenobi is kind of a massive bitch, qui-gon is only mentioned, the de-aged obiwan fic that no one asked for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 14:23:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycombs/pseuds/Kittycombs
Summary: Listen, okay? Sometimes, things don't go according to plan. Shit happens! It's not Anakin's fault!How was he supposed to know that this would happen? It's not written anywhere that Sith holocrons could do this - right? And it's not like he went into this mission intending for his master to become his, well, technically, apprentice.Anakin knows he is, in fact, both outclassed by a 19 year old, but also immensely, supremely, fucked.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> listen pal.....i dont...i dont even know
> 
> sometimes you go too far with an au in a group chat and then a fic happens i guess
> 
> first time posting, pls be kind

Anakin woke up in the Healer’s Ward with a summons to the council chamber. Not, in itself, unusual; no, what was unusual was the fact that his Master was not beside him. Knowing Obi-Wan, he’d probably avoided the blast that had emanated from the - kriff - Sith holocron, so maybe not so unusual, given Obi-Wan’s less reckless nature.  


After a bit more needling from the Med bay staff than seemed normal - Anakin was fine, really, a bit of a headache and a few minor burns, but he's had worse - he started pulling his robes on and made his way to the council chamber, bracing for the long ascension.  


As usual, the lift ride to the chamber felt like it took years off of Anakin's life. Considering how many times he and Obi-Wan have been summoned, even before Obi-Wan was appointed to the council, it probably had wasted years of Anakin's life at this point.  


Anakin waited for the customary little poke of a _‘stop whining’_ feeling from Obi-Wan across there still-as-yet unbroken training bond, but it didn't come. Anakin furrowed his brows. He focused his mind on the beginning of his side of the thread that connected him and his - _old_ , Anakin thought, loudly, teasingly, and pointedly - master, and prodded him again.  


_‘Old, boring, stuffy, know-nothing's, haven't been out of the temple in Force knows how long, no idea how the galaxy actually works anymore-’_  


It wasn't working. Anakin grimaced. Normally, complaining about the council always got at least a little mental shove from Obi-Wan. A little, barely-felt whack to the back of his head. Anakin dug deeper. What else could he complain about to get on Obi-Wan’s nerves?  


_‘Wow, beards sure are ugly. Just all those uncomfortable little hairs just on your face all the time.’_  


Okay so that one was a no. What else? What would really needle at Obi-Wan’s nerves?  


_‘Force, but do I hate tea! Gross leaf water, that's all it is! I'll never understand how Obi-Wan subjects himself to that torture several times a day! I'd rather eat bugs than have to drink-’_  


Okay, so clearly that wasn't working. Obi-Wan usually stopped him after ‘gross leaf water.’ Maybe a more direct approach would work?  


_‘Master? Obi-Wan? Kenobi? Tight-laced old man? Oh, my darling, where art thou?’_  


A sick feeling settled into Anakin's stomach and twisted his insides around. Even if Obi-Wan was mad at him and blocking him out purposefully - pulling up his stupidly impressive shields against _Anakin_ of all people - he wouldn't have ignored such a direct call. _Even_ if he was mad, that last one at least would have sent Anakin a feeling of bristled indignation.  


Anakin, with fear - no not fear never fear fear leads to anger to hate to suffering to the Dark - _‘screw it’_ \- with _fear_ clenching cold in his gut, Anakin yanked almost violently at the thread that connected him to his master. He pulled and pulled and pulled at it, heart pounding, ears ringing -Obi-Wan had never been so far out of reach before, a single constant in Anakin's life, back of his mind there he always was - _‘oh Force oh Force oh Force’_ \- the thread just kept coming, where was the other end? Why wasn't it going taut? Why wasn't Obi-Wan pulling towards him with equal force? Couldn't he feel Anakin's distress? Normally he would already been wrapping his presence around Anakin, calming him. He didn't need to rely on Obi-Wan - Anakin _is_ actually capable of calming himself down _Master Windu_ \- but Obi-Wan wasn't there at all and - _‘oh Force oh Force oh Force’_ \- even when Obi-Wan was unconscious, the thread normally held firm and didn't just keep coming like this, Anakin could feel it pooling at his - well not his actual feet but that was the feeling - until Anakin felt the end of the -  


_‘Oh Force no no no no no’_ Anakin had no feeling left except the overwhelming dread that had seized his muscles up. His lungs wouldn't fill, his eyes wouldn't dry, his heart was beating wildly but he couldn’t move - _‘oh Force oh Force oh Force’_ \- even in his own mind the thread never had an end. It just...drifted off into the recesses of his mind, integrating into everything else. Honestly, if pressed, Anakin didn't know if he could _remember_ what his mind felt like without Obi-Wan weaved into it.  


And now Obi-Wan was _gone_. Even when they had both chosen to release or slacken their bond for mission or distance reasons, there was always at least a little of Obi-Wan left in the tapestry of his mind.  


Now it felt like Obi-Wan had never been there _at all_ and the tapestry was beginning to unravel without its essential threads.  


Anakin caught himself on the wall of the lift, cybernetic arm scratching against the wall and producing the grating sound of metal on metal. His lungs were somehow free once more, and so he gulped in huge breaths of air, one after another after another.  


Obi-Wan would be so disappointed in him. Letting himself spiral so out of control? Obi-Wan _never_ would have done that, let alone when he was about to be presented to the -  


_‘Sweet Kriff, the council.’_  


Anakin does what he knows Obi-Wan would do - what he's _felt_ Obi-Wan do uncountable times (because in the deepest parts of his mind, Obi-Wan Kenobi is drowning in self-doubt and longing and _grief_ ) - and pulls the lightest part of the Force that he can reach around himself and wears it like a cloak. He breathes, deeply - _‘the same rhythm of his Master’s breath as he sleeps’_ \- once, and out, and twice, and out, and thrice, and out. He wills his heart to calm, and schools his face into a neutrally serene expression.  


The council will either be concerned for this sudden change in demeanor - Anakin's face is normally something like ‘neutrally murderous’ - or impressed at his new self-control. Anakin just hopes that they won't continue to expect this, because he's drawing energy directly from the Force itself at this point, his body running on the last dregs of his own energy, and as much as he's always hated pulling at the Force like this - preferring, instead, to pull from _Obi-Wan_ who in turn pulled from the Force - it was working. And not a moment too soon, it seemed, as the lift doors open and a temple guard is looking at him.  


Anakin doesn't acknowledge the guard at all, does not return their greeting, and - and Obi-Wan isn't there in his mind to berate him for it. It's everything he would have wished for as a Junior Padawan and nothing that he wants now.  


The council doors slide open, and Anakin steps inside, very purposefully _not_ looking at Obi-Wan’s chair. He's seen it empty before, of course, but this is different.  
Obi-Wan isn't just not there, he's _not there_. It's different.  


Anakin bowed to them like he always did, a slight bend at the waist and a dip of his head. “Masters.”  


“Skywalker,” it’s Mace who speaks up first - _‘so it’s one of those meetings’_ \- meaning that this is going to be the sort of complex verbal sparring that Anakin has never been good at. He very pointedly crushes the thought of _‘if Obi-Wan were here he would explain it later’_ before it can reach the forefront, and Anakin desperately tries to pay attention.  


“Yes, esteemed masters?” Anakin asks, and he can feel the mood of the room shift. They're all confused by his calm - and more importantly, respectful - demeanor.  


“Skywalker, no, no. Anakin. I'm going to be completely honest with you here. Something...happened to Obi-Wan.”  


Anakin didn't say that he knew, didn't say that his chest was crushing in on his heart, didn't show any of it on his face. “I suspected something had, when I awoke alone, and didn't see him here.”  


Mace Windu inhales, slowly, calmly and - _‘Oh Force this is it isn't it this is where they say he's gone’_ \- scrubs a hand over his face.  


“We don't have any real way to explain it. As far as we can tell, he's still Obi-Wan Kenobi.”  


“Wait I'm sorry - still?”  


“Yes. It appears that, when the explosion happened-” Anakin winced internally. “-whatever it was simply...made him young again.”  


Anakin's tightly held composure snaps. “What the hell??”  


“Crass, but accurate,” he hears another counselor say, behind him or left of him, he doesn't care.  


“Your master, well, Obi-Wan is currently in Medbay 6, in an isolated room, and, from what we've been told, has remained largely uncooperative.” The _not that he ever is_ goes unsaid, but Anakin knows that it's there.  


“That doesn't explain anything? What do you mean ‘made young’?”  


“It means that Master Kenobi is in perfect health, it's just that,” Mace sighs again, and rubs at his face. “It's just that he's in the same perfect health that he was in at 19 standard, which, as far as we can tell, _he is_.”  


The council chamber is completely silent for an uncomfortably long time.  


“If this is a joke, it's supremely unfunny.”  


Mace pulls a face at him. “I assure you, this is not a joke. For all intents and purposes, Obi-Wan Kenobi is 19, with all the memories, skills, and appearances therein.”  


_‘Force, 19?! He's three years younger than Anakin now, what the hell?’_  


“Okay. So when can I see him?”  


“Anakin, he, uh. He doesn't remember you.”  


“I guessed that part,” Anakin says. _‘I'm just glad he's alive,’_ he doesn't say. “But when can I see him?”  


Mace sits back. “We figured you’d be obstinate. We’ll allow you to see Kenobi, but only as long as you agree to our plan.”  


Normally Anakin would bristle at the idea of being made to follow the council’s plan, but Obi-Wan is _alive_ , and he's _safe_ , and Anakin will agree to anything as long as they _let him see Obi-Wan._  


“Yeah, alright, what is it?”  


“Padawan Kenobi is unaware of his master’s death. As far as he knows, Qui-Gon Jinn is still alive and kicking.”  


Anakin wonders if Mace means that completely as a metaphor.  


“So, until he either returns to his appropriate state of being naturally, or until we discover a way to do so for him, we'd like you to act as his Master.”  


Anakin stands there. Blinks. Blinks again. And bursts out into deranged laughter. “As if I could have anything to teach Obi-Wan!”  


“Skywalker, the fact of the matter is, Obi-Wan doesn't know who you are. Qui-Gon Jinn is dead. Obi-Wan is still a Padawan in this mind and body, and he will require someone to take care of him. The council has decided that you are the most qualified person,” and oh Anakin can see how it kills him a little inside when Mace has to call him ‘qualified’ for anything, “for this job. We'll send someone to clean out your rooms, as we’ll be moving you to new ones in order to, maintain the illusion, as it were. Knight Skywalker, do you agree to this mission?”  


Anakin doesn't even think about it for a second. “I do.”  


Mace nods his head. “Good. Please report to Medbay 6 to meet your apprentice.”  


Anakin dips his own head again, thanks them, and walks as calmly as he can towards the door, through the hallway, into the lift, and inside a secluded closet before he collapses to the ground and sobs.  


_‘He's alive he's alive he's alive alive alive alive_ **alive**.’  


Still gone from Anakin's mind, but Anakin thinks he could endure anything in the Galaxy as long as Obi-Wan is alive.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin's got this, 100%, everything is under control, Anakin is great at lying to himself, literally everything is going according to plan. You know, the plan. The one that doesn't exist. Everything is going GREAT, according to that plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm glad that some of you are interested in this idea! Get ready for bitchy Obi-Wan.....
> 
> Also happy birthday to another discord squad member, Raver Maul!! *sings* go follow them at raver-maul.tumblr.com (I'll fix links later I'm tired it's 4am)

Once Anakin feels composed enough to leave his crying closet, he straightens his robes, and walks into one to the communal freshers. It's empty - _’thank the force’_ \- so Anakin doesn't even try to hide his damp face or red eyes. He wets his hands in the sink, and presses his fingers against his eyes until they feel less puffy.

Okay. Okay. He can do this. Really, he can. He doesn't think he can remember what Obi-Wan looked like when he had first met him when Obi-Wan had been - kriff, how did he not know his master’s own age? - but he can do this. He's been doing well enough with Ashoka. Neither of them have died and she seems to be mostly free of permanent mental scarring. So he can do this.

Really. He can. Whatever, exactly, _this is_ confuses the hell out of him, but he can pretend to be Obi-Wan’s master for a few - days, months, years? - however long it takes. Yeah sure. Easy stuff. Anakin can handle this, he so sure that he repeats it to himself in the mirror until it doesn't feel like the most blatant lie that he has ever told.

Anakin is truly and entirely screwed. He knows this. He can barely keep up with middle aged - _‘don't think about how he's not there telling you off for calling him middle aged, the drama queen’_ \- Obi-Wan, how is he supposed to keep up with a teenaged Obi-Wan?

No, no. He can do this. He's got this. And if he's sweating a little and his stomach is rolling with nerves, well that's nobody's business but his own.

So Anakin knew abstractly that he was bad at thinking things through - as compared to Obi-Wan who sometimes had _literal foresight_ \- and that, yeah, he can admit that he mostly rushes into things with little to no plan. But this was really something else.

If it had been Anakin who had been reverted to his 19 standard self, there wouldn't be a problem. Obi-Wan would just have to say that he got a haircut and trimmed his beard, and they could be on their merry way. Obi-Wan already knows how to handle 19 standard Anakin. He would be perpetually annoyed, but he normally was anyway, so no big difference.

Anakin slapped at his cheeks and rolled his shoulders. No, really, he could do this. His comm chirped and the number of his new room was there, so all his stuff had been moved, so there was really no backing out now, was there?

Anakin had made this shitty, shitty bed, and now he had to lie in it.

Okay, bad metaphor, but his point still stands. He agreed because he was a desperate loser who would do anything for Obi-Wan, because he was hopelessly in love with him, but Obi-Wan didn't know that, and more importantly, he didn't need to know that. Anakin was dealing with it. Everything is fine. Anakin has everything under control.

A few more deep breaths wouldn't hurt though, right?

Deep breaths taken, Anakin began his - _‘funeral march’_ \- toward medbay 6. All of the healers are giving him wary looks, but he ignores them. He has a singular goal, and if he deviates even slightly he knows he's going to chicken out and throw up.

He's at the door of medbay 6 quicker than he would have liked, but yeah, everything is fine, Anakin's got this under control, he's not hyperventilating or paralyzed with fear, no he's good. Great in fact. He's definitely going to open the door in just a moment.

Anakin is great at a lot of things, and lying to himself is one of them.

Okay, hand on door, deep breath. _‘Just open it you coward.’_

Anakin, to his surprise, actually manages to open the door without passing out. He's proud of himself, honestly. He was sure that he wasn't going to get this far.

The sight that Anakin is greeted with is what he can only assume is Obi-Wan’s back, although Anakin's brain doesn't seem to line that up, because there are things not present on this back that he - _‘has meticulously cataloged’_ \- has observed over his many years of close quarters living with Obi-Wan.

For one thing, the enormous scar that had bisected Obi-Wan’s torso parallel with the spine is gone. Anakin has never seen Obi-Wan without it. The almost perfect circle of three bumps from where Obi-Wan had gotten himself stabbed with some rocks breaking Anakin's fall is gone too. As are the myriad of healed-over blaster wounds that he and Anakin share.

But the scar that Obi-Wan never talked about was there. It's barely the size of one of Anakin's fingers, but with the sort of dense scar tissue that builds up over a long-had, deep wound, placed just a hairsbreadth away from Obi-Wan’s neck - any closer and it would have killed him.

Or at least, that's what it looked like when Anakin had known it.

Because _this_ scar isn't really a scar at all. It more closely resembles a barely healed wound. It's angry and red and in the Force Anakin knows it would be burning hot to the touch. If Obi-Wan moves the wrong way, the scab will crack open and start bleeding all over again.

Anakin tears his eye away from it.

Some things are still the same, and Anakin takes comfort in those; freckles splattered everywhere, skin taut and pale. Anakin doesn't remember Obi-Wan having _dimples_ of all things at the base of his spine, but that is probably just the last vestiges of childhood clinging to his body.

Anakin is also going to tease him about them mercilessly when he gets his own Obi-Wan back. Because that's how they work: Anakin teases, Obi-Wan sasses him right back, and Anakin tries desperately not to kiss the smile off his face. 

_Anyway._

Anakin inhales to speak, not having any idea what to say - _‘but we've been winging it so far’_ \- but as soon as he does, he's interrupted. 

“So I suppose _you're_ the replacement then?” 

Anakin needs to settle his weight back to both of his feet because - wow, okay - he definitely wasn't expecting that voice. 

“Um, yeah, I - I mean, yes I am.” Anakin walks towards the bed, but doesn't try to go around it to face Obi-Wan, he just hovers a few inches away from the side. _‘He could just reach out and stroke along his skin right now. Not that he will. But he could.’_

__

“I'm Anakin Skywalker.” 

“Yes, I assumed as much. Someone already came in here and ‘briefed me’ on the entire ordeal,” the quotations aren't there, but Anakin can hear them, “so don't bother wasting your breath explaining it to the likes of me.” 

____

“Ah, okay.” Hearing this Obi-Wan’s voice feels like being stabbed. His accent is much stronger than Anakin had ever known it to be, but his tone is vicious. It cuts right down the wick, and makes it very clear that he is dissatisfied with Anakin's presence. Anakin fumbles with his words for a moment too long, can feel Obi-Wan’s rude smugness settling over the room. “The. Um, the likes of you?” 

____

"Ah yes, a lowly Padawan learner, like myself. Clearly Jedi knights have more _important_ things to do than pay attention to Padawans.” Obi-Wan finally sits up and faces Anakin. “Just to clarify, you can speak in complete, un-stuttered sentences, correct?” 

____

Anakin gaped. 

____

He...he looked so young. There were no lines on his face at all - not that his Obi-Wan had a lot, but there were little worry-lines around the eyes and between his brows that were making themselves known - and Anakin had forgotten that there was a time that Obi-Wan didn't have the beard. The expression was similar though, one eyebrow raised with his lips pursed. 

____

Obi-Wan coughed, and Anakin remembers that he had asked a question. Anakin cleared his throat. “Yes, I can do that.” 

____

Obi-Wan’s other eyebrow raised in mock surprise. “Incredible. Truly incredible.” 

__Anakin didn't know where to go from here._ _

____

Obi-Wan, as always, seems to sense an adversary’s retreat, and soldiers right on in. “I must say, you're a great deal younger than I was expecting. Master Jinn is always going on about the faults of _my_ age grouping. Are you even old enough to be knighted anyway?” 

____

Anakin gasps. Anger is _rolling_ off of this Obi-Wan. Sheer, violent, visceral emotionality, being pushed into the force, not released. 

____

Anakin had clearly been judged, and been found wanting. It hurt. 

____

“I was knighted about three years ago.” 

____

Obi-Wan examines the back of his hand, rubbing at one of his knuckles. “Well maybe your master made a mistake in knighting you so soon. Force knows that Jedi masters are always making mistakes, doing things that they later regret.”

____

_'What?’_

____

“Excuse me?! My master is the greatest Jedi to come out of the order! He's the youngest member of the council in over two-thousand years!” 

____

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow again - _‘had he used his eyebrows this much when he was grow?'_ \- and was still obviously unimpressed. “Well then, perhaps yours was the exception, not the rule.” 

____

Anakin didn't have a defense for that; Obi-Wan _was_ the exception to many rules. 

____

__

____

__“Well,” Obi-Wan said, breaking the silence between them. “If that's all for introductions, I'll be getting dressed now.” He stood, brushing past Anakin to the chair that held the tunics that had been laid aside for him._ _

____

__

____

__Anakin turned to watch him. The movements were all the same, just slightly more stiff and restrained - probably because he's basically naked - Anakin clears his throat - naked in front of a stranger. It would probably be polite to look away._ _

____

__

____

Good thing Anakin didn't have any qualms about impoliteness. 

There were still a few places were the muscles weren’t as developed as his Obi-Wan - namely the calves, shoulders and - Anakin takes some deeps breaths and recites the opening lines of the Code in his head - and the thighs. Anakin swallows, and then swallows again when he chokes on the first as Obi-Wan bent over to pull his trousers up.

Anakin looks away. 

When he looks back, Obi-Wan is still facing away from him, pulling on the many layers of shirts and robes that the Jedi - for reasons Anakin could never decipher - found necessary to wear all the time. Something dangling down the middle of his back caught Anakin's eye and - 

Anakin doesn't really remember what Obi-Wan had looked like as a Padawan. He hadn't spent much time looking at him - too entranced with Qui-Gon Jinn, even though Obi-Wan was always next to him. He had memories of the very recently knighted Obi-Wan, with his spiky hair and bare chin. He had memories of Obi-Wan during Anakin's early teen years, when he decided to grow a beard - to intimidatingly quick and painless results; Anakin still couldn't do it even if he tried _‘and he had, many times’_ \- well, ‘painless’ might not be the right word; the beginnings of it had itched something awful on those rare, post-nightmare occasions where Obi-Wan had allowed Anakin into his bed. Never the way Anakin _wanted_ , but Anakin thought that it was probably because it was Obi-Wan, who actually cared about stupid things like ‘decorum’ and ‘responsibilities’ or ‘rules,’ not because Obi-Wan didn't find him attractive - _‘but Anakin had apparently been mistaken in his assumption that Obi-Wan would let him into his bed in-that-way once Anakin was knighted.’_

And of course, Anakin had memories of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, with his fringe and his beard and the smirks that he shared more frequently with Anakin. 

But Padawan Obi-Wan had always been an enigma. 

Anakin knew that there were records of it; there was the holovid from the security cameras from Theed of Obi-Wan killing Maul - which, to Obi-Wan's chagrin, was shown in three different classes (Saber strategy, that one about keeping a level head in combat scenarios, and the one about controlling negative emotions, and unfortunately Anakin had had to take all of them - and had looked away every time) which invariably resulted in about a week of Obi-Wan being followed by awed stares from both the Padawans in those classes and their year-mates. 

There were temple records that were technically all declassified that Anakin could have looked at, but could never bring himself too. 

And there was the single holopic that Anakin knew Obi-Wan still had - Anakin didn't know who had caught it, but it was a picture of Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon facing each other, Qui-Gon’s hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders, Obi-Wan looking the happiest Anakin had ever seen him, and Qui-Gon’s face so full of pride - that Anakin had only ever seen once before Obi-Wan had taken it out of the Padawan room and shoved it into the back of the closet that held the extra blankets. Anakin had known better than to try and dig it out in the early days - the days where is was _Obi-Wan_ who woke up sobbing and drenched in sweat, gasping for someone who he couldn't save - and eventually Anakin had forgotten about it. 

What had caught Anakin's eye was Obi-Wan’s Padawan Braid - the only memory of it that Anakin had was Obi-Wan tossing it on Qui-Gon’s funeral pyre. It hung almost halfway down his back, and Anakin hadn't known before to notice, but Obi-Wan had every single achievement band.  


Anakin counted them. 

White for healing, blue for mechanics, red for - _‘sweet Force’_ \- piloting, green for communing with the Living Force - not unexpected, being trained by Qui-Gon - and yellow for lightsaber training.

Obi-Wan was 19, for Force sake, and was already probably a more qualified Jedi than Anakin. 

Yeah, Anakin is all sorts of fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Colors taken from here:
> 
> http://dhost.info/rissa/ToPictures.htm
> 
> I know that obiwan only has the two colors in canon, but a. this is my fic, and b. it has a purpose in the larger arc of the story, i promise
> 
> have a lovely whatever time of day it is, and thanks for reading!
> 
> ps formating is A FUCKING NIGHTMARE


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone passes them in the corridor, but this is by far not the strangest thing that Anakin has been caught doing, so he ignores them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enormous thank you to SpreeDuzzz for telling me about the 'rich text' box my crops are watered and my skin is clear

Anakin has to remind himself that he’s not supposed to fall into step slightly behind Obi-Wan as he always has, but instead lead Obi-Wan to where they are going. That's going to take some getting used to.

Anakin's comm chirps again, and Anakin's heart races when he reads it.

_Just finished up. Headed back to the temple now. ETA is eleven hours._

Ashoka is coming home.

Which normally wouldn't be a problem, it's just that Ashoka - his Padawan - is going to be coming back while Obi-Wan - also his Padawan? - is also here, and he can't have _two_ Padawans.

...can he?

But Obi-Wan would probably think it was weird if he did, and become even more - _‘bitchy?’_ \- prickly if he thought that Anakin didn't care about him, which is insane, because Anakin doesn't think that there is any version of the universe where he _doesn't_ care about Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan can't know that - Anakin throws a look over his shoulder, to make sure that Obi-Wan is still following him - because to this Obi-Wan’s knowledge, they've never met before.

“The Force feels odd.” Anakin nearly stumbles when Obi-Wan speaks, still not used to the terse tone, like he's angry that he has to ask at all. “Do you know why, Master?”

Anakin stops abruptly and Obi-Wan bangs into his shoulder. “Argh, what the hell, Master?”

“Don't call me that.” Anakin knows his voice is colder than Hoth, but he doesn't care - he needs to get this point across.

“Don't call you what?”

“Master. I know what I means for the Jedi, but where I'm from it means something different. It's just Anakin. I'm not a Jedi Master yet, and you aren't really my Padawan. I'm just...watching you till Qui-Gon gets back. So it's just Anakin.”

“So you'll be calling me Obi-Wan then? First name basis?” Obi-Wan is looking at him seriously, and in that moment he looks so much like Anakin's Obi-Wan that he might cry.

 _‘He's alive he's alive he's alive he's alive he's_ **_alive_ ** _.’_

“If that works for you, then yeah.”

“Whatever makes you the most comfortable, Anakin.” Obi-Wan says his name the same way regardless of age, it would seem. A soft ‘ah’ sound at the beginning, instead of the harder ‘an’ that everyone else uses.

Anakin nods his head.

They walk in silence a bit longer, stepping into the lift together.

“So, in you must be an odd case for the temple.”

Anakin stiffens. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, if ‘master’ has a different connotation to you, you can't have been raised at the temple. So you had to have been raised somewhere else and then been brought to the temple when you were older.” Obi-Wan looks at Anakin, hesitates. “Am I right?”

“Yeah.”

“So my next guess: you grew up on an outer rim planet, I'm guessing either Dantooine or Tatooine?” Anakin nods stiffly again. “Anakin...did you grow up as a slave?”

Anakin nods again - doesn't say anything, doesn't trust his voice not to waver or break - and tries to nonverbally communicate that the conversation is over.

Even in the first hour of knowing this younger - and, if he's being honest, more open - Obi-Wan, Anakin is learning that Obi-Wan observes a lot more than Anakin would normally give him credit for. Anakin huffs. Most people didn't know and couldn't figure it out - _‘most people don't expect a slave to be so combative. We're all docile broken beasts who only listen to commands.’_

Anakin knows that he's projecting, that anyone with sensitivity to the Force could pick up on his mood, but his heart quickens a bit when Obi-Wan has a burst of nervousness let out into the Force - but no, their bond isn't back, it's just wishful thinking - Anakin needs to be more careful. He glances at Obi-Wan and-

And is shocked. ‘Docile’ Anakin had thought, but if anyone looks docile here, it's not him, it's Obi-Wan. The nervousness isn't gone, just hidden under a layer of the Force, the same way that Anakin had done not much earlier with the council.

Anakin tries not to be angry but - it had taken him _years_ to figure that out, and most other Jedi hadn't heard of the technique. Anakin had thought that Obi-Wan had made it up for him, having given up hope of teaching Anakin to properly let go of his emotions, but….

Had Obi-Wan come up with it for himself? It seemed impossible - Obi-Wan was always the epitome of what a Jedi should be, always calm and serene and in control. He didn't need that stupid trick to cover things up or put up a front! He only did that when he didn't have time to meditate it all away!

Except….

He hadn't had much time to _do_ that since Anakin showed up, hadn't he? Because Anakin _hated_ meditating, and everyone knew that. So, had Obi-Wan just...stopped? Too busy taking care of Anakin to take care of himself? _‘That sounds exactly like what Obi-Wan would do.’_

The lift is filled with the thick, viscous feeling of self-hatred - but it isn't all coming off of Anakin, which was a surprise. Had his mind been working a klick a minute that he couldn't even pay attention to what Obi-Wan was saying? Which, yeah he normally didn't do _anyway_ but this Obi-Wan didn't know that?

What if he had been talking? What if he thought Anakin was ignoring him? That Anakin didn't like him? That would be the worst possible way to start this! It had taken _years_ for Obi-Wan to convince Anakin that he wasn't unwanted! Anakin didn't have _years_!

“....promise I won't say anything ever again.”

Obi-Wan? Not say anything? Anakin shoves down a laugh. Impossible.

“I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, I wasn't listening. Can you repeat all of that?”

Obi-Wan blushed from the tips of his ears down, and his shoulders rise up as he pulls his outer robe tighter around him and swallows. “I...I was just apologizing for my rude behavior. I shouldn't have assumed, and I shouldn't have been brash. It was inappropriate, and I am sorry, Master Sky- Anakin. I meant no disrespect, and yet I insulted you.”

Anakin knows Obi-Wan is rambling because he's likely ashamed and embarrassed, knows he should stop him - but he didn't know Obi-Wan _could_ ramble and he's _fascinated_.

“When my master returns, I'm sure that he'll approve of any disciplinary actions you may wish to take; he's always telling me to think first, and yet I never listen. And now I've gone and offended a fellow Jedi on top of it all, and all because of my own stupidity and inability to control myself. I shame the Order, my Master, you, and myself. I promise that I'll be quiet from now on.”

Anakin isn't sure how to process this. The expression on his face is the same one that his Obi-Wan always wears when he's waiting for a lecture to be over so that he can move on - apologetic, ashamed, contrite - the picture child of remorse, truly - but this expression is different.

It takes Anakin longer to figure out than he’d like to admit, but he does.

His eyes are in it.

The thing about Obi-Wan’s eyes is that - one of them is bigger than the other, just a little (the left is bigger, but only slightly) - the lashes are long and get stuck together around the outer corner - when he wakes in the morning they're a little unfocused for almost an hour before he's fully awake - the whites of them get a pinkish tint when he's tired - the folds of his eyelids are deep - his eyes set deep in his brow - _‘which would have been great on Tatooine for blocking out the damned suns’_ -

The thing about Obi-Wan’s eyes is that - if you know how to look, know _where_ to look - all of his emotions pour out of him.

And right now, he's wearing the same expression that Anakin is so used to Obi-Wan schooling his face into in front of the Council as he and Anakin banter back and forth across their bond, but his eyes are giving him away. Obi-Wan feels completely awful about this.

Anakin breaks.

He turns towards Obi-Wan completely and puts his hands on his shoulders, just like Obi-Wan used to do to him. He's a little shorter than Anakin’s Obi-Wan, but Anakin doesn't want to embarrass him further by crouching or bending to look him in the eye.

“Listen, Obi-Wan. I'm not angry with you.” Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, challenging. “No, I'm really not. I'm angry at people who think less of me because of it, or don't expect slaves and former slaves to have personalities. Mostly, with you, I'm impressed how quickly you figured it out.”

Obi-Wan looks confused. _‘Has no one ever kriffing complimented him before?’_

“But the thing is, most people haven't figured it out, and I don't want them too. My old Master - Jedi Master, my teacher - he knew, because his master was the one who found me and brought me to the temple.” Anakin hesitates, and decides that, yeah, probably best to bring up Ashoka now. “My...old Padawan knew, but only because we had to go to Tatooine and speak with the Hutts, who recognized my family name. I don't mind you knowing, because I trust you not to be an ass about it.” This part was true, his Obi-Wan was never an ass about it, and only brought it up when Anakin wanted to talk about it. Other times, when people wonder at his odd behavior, Obi-Wan would normally send an inquisitive feeling along their bond and, depending on Anakin’s answer, you either tell the truth or just say that, ‘there were some extenuating circumstances regarding his upbringing.’ So Anakin trusts him not it to be an ass about it.

Obi-Wan’s shoulders pull up slightly again - had he done this before? - and he seems to shrink away from being touched. Anakin nods at him before releasing his shoulders.

They ride in silence for a bit longer - why do the lifts take so kriffing long? - before Obi-Wan speaks again.

“So, former Padawan? I thought you said that you’d only been knighted three years ago.”

Anakin freezes. _‘Kriff kriff kriff.’_

“Uh….yeah. It was a, um, a similar situation to this one. Her master, uh, died, and so I um, I trained her.”

“Wow Anakin, that was great. I was close to almost believing you.”

“Listen, neither of us like talking about it.”

“Oh yes. I understand completely. I'm sure that's it.”

Another thing to get used to is that Obi-Wan is, apparently, a cheeky shit. Anakin knows this on an intellectual level, but Obi-Wan didn't normally direct so much of it at him.

“Listen, ugh, just-”

Obi-Wan cuts him off. “No I understand. You don't want to talk about it for whatever reason. I'll just shut up.”

The lift opens and saves Anakin from having to respond. Which is a shame, really. He knows that this Obi-Wan isn't his Obi-Wan - that this Obi-Wan has never met him - but he wants Obi-Wan to like him. More importantly, he wants Obi-Wan to feel like he can be himself around Anakin.

This might be Anakin's one chance at really getting to _know_ Obi-Wan Kenobi, without all the awkwardness of Qui-Gon’s death and then the years of tip toeing around it. They had moved past it, of course - probably would have been impossible to train Anakin if they hadn't - but Obi-Wan never quite dropped the persona of a perfect Jedi that he had stepped into once he became Anakin's master.

So this is his chance to know who Obi-Wan really was - or who he had been before he'd been forced to age twenty years in the span of a day.

Because Anakin had seen the records - technically against the rules but Anakin doesn't have time for dumb things like _rules_ \- and it was entirely unheard of that a freshly knighted Jedi to immediately take on a Padawan. Anakin knows that it's because Qui-Gon asked - it had come out in a rather nasty spat between them when Anakin was a disgusting brat of a thirteen year old; there has been tears and screams and yelling and Anakin doesn't remember exactly _what_ it was he said - has blocked most of it out of his mind because seeing Obi-Wan’s reactions had _hurt_ \- but he's seen Obi-Wan speechless exactly three times in his life and one had involved seeing something that he never should have seen (they had a strict knocking policy after that) and the other had involved Mace Windu’s robes and a temple spire (it was actually forbidden to talk about it, but one of Anakin's proudest moments nonetheless) and the third had been when Anakin had said _whatever it was that he had said_ and Obi-Wan had exhaled, and then inhaled as if to speak but all that came out was a choked sob before tears rushed down Obi-Wan’s cheeks and he made some apologetic sound before running into his room and locking the door.

And he had looked destroyed. Like Anakin had punched him in the throat.

And his mind was wide open, so Anakin could _feel_ it when Obi-Wan shattered like glass.

Obi-Wan hadn't come out of his room for a whole three days, and when he did he barely talked to Anakin for a month. Anakin kept apologizing but Obi-Wan would always ask him what he was apologizing _for_ and after awhile he had been normal again so Anakin has never brought it up again.

But he feels _awful_.

So in a way, this is a fresh start for them.

“Obi-Wan.”

“Yes, Anakin?”

“I...I want you to know that there are some things that I'm just not allowed to tell you-”

Obi-Wan’s face twists into a scowl. “The Council?”

“Yeah.”

Obi-Wan honest to goodness huffs. “This is probably to get back at Qui-Gon for what happened last mission.”

Anakin’s eyebrows furrow. “What happened on the last mission?”

“That's classified.”

What the actual hell had Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon gotten up to?

“Anyway, I want you to know that you don't ever need to shut up. I don't really know what I'm doing, so if I'm kriffing up, tell me. Don't be afraid to be yourself.”

Obi-Wan swallows hard, crosses his arms, and looks away. “I'm told that ‘myself’ is generally combative and unpleasant. I have been told, many times in fact, that I should _not_ be myself. Because apparently myself isn't good enough for most people.”

Anakin takes a chance, putting his hands on Obi-Wan’s shoulders again, and hopes that he doesn't flinch away. He doesn't, but he also doesn't look at Anakin.

“Yourself is good enough for me.”

Obi-Wan looks at him like he’s a man drowning and Anakin is dry land, his eyes watery and shocked, and a thought hits Anakin harder than a blaster to the gut.

_‘He's never been told he's good enough before, hasn’t he.’_

“Thank you.” His voice is hoarse, but Anakin ignores it.

“You're welcome. Oh, Obi-Wan, by the way, what's your stance on hugs?”

The face of confusion Obi-Wan makes is almost comical. “Hugs?”

“Yeah, hugs. For or against?”

“Uh...I've never really thought about it before. Not really a thing that happens to me. Neutral, I suppose?”

“Oh okay, I was just-” Anakin's mind screeches to a halt. “Wait, have you never been hugged before?!”

“What? I-well I guess I probably have? All children are held at some point, it's an important part of healthy development for them.”

“So you've never been hugged that you can remember? No wonder you've got such a stick up your ass!”

“Hey!”

Someone passes them in the corridor, but this is by far not the strangest thing that Anakin has been caught doing, so he ignores them.

“Obi-Wan, that's not healthy.”

“Ugh,” Obi-Wan shoves him away. “What do you know?”

“Everybody needs hugs, Obi-Wan! People need to know that they're loved!”

Obi-Wan glares at him and - yep, there it is, the proper Jedi look. “Attachment it forbidden.”

But what this Obi-Wan doesn't know is that Anakin has had this debate hundreds if not thousands of times. “Yes, but compassion is encouraged. How are we supposed to help others feel safe or empathize with them if we barely feel anything?”

Obi-Wan hesitates. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Hell yeah I do. Now come here.” Anakin opens his arms wide. “If you hate it, just say so and we never have to do it again.”

Obi-Wan looks uncertain, but Anakin knows he's never one to back down from a challenge.

He walks into Anakin's arms, wraps his own around Anakin's stomach, and lays his left cheek against Anakin's chest.

Anakin pulls him close, makes sure that Obi-Wan is cuddled close. He bows his head down so that his temple is against Obi-Wan’s hair, and hums.

Another person passes them, but again, not the weirdest thing Anakin's been caught doing.

“So, what do you think? And be honest.”

“I...I don't _hate_ it.”

Anakin smiles.

He’ll count that as a win.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost considered calling this "Chapter Three: It Only Took 30+ Years, But Obi-Wan Kenobi Finally Gets A Hug" but then i'd have yo name other chapters and ugh *wavey hands*


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan doesn't hate him. He hasn't fucked anything up.
> 
> At least, he hasn't fucked anything up yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea what just happened  
> some cursing in this chapter bc obi-wan is a potty mouth

Anakin is reluctant to let Obi-Wan go, so instead of releasing him, he keeps one arm draped over his shoulder - he's the perfect height for it, really - and smiles at him.

Obi-Wan smiles back, and Anakin doesn't think he's seen Obi-Wan’s presence so bright and clear in his life - which is odd because Obi-Wan is the brightest person that Anakin has encountered - so Anakin calms down a little. Obi-Wan doesn't hate him. He hasn't fucked anything up.

At least, he hasn't fucked anything up _yet_.

“So, until Qui-Gon gets back, this is us,” Anakin says, gesturing at the door. “I only had a single, so this place will be new to me, too.”

“Should I go grab my stuff from my room, Anakin?”

_‘Shit shit shit.’_

“Ah...no? It's alright this is, uh, a lesson in attachments. And letting things go.”

Obi-Wan’s face shifts back into that expression that clearly says “you're kidding right?” more effectively than words ever could. “Sure it is, Anakin. Remind me who was encouraging attachment not twelve seconds ago?”

 _‘Shit.’_ Obi-Wan has him there. “Well, do as I say, not as I do.”

Obi-Wan wraps his arm around Anakin’s waist. “Surprising how often that teaching method is used amongst the Jedi.”

“Oh really? My master was always more of a ‘do as I say you fucking idiot’ but less cursing because that would be ‘uncivilized’ or something.”

Obi-Wan laughs. “Your master sounds like a pain in the ass.”

Anakin laughs and reaches to punch in the code for the door. “Yeah, he kinda was. But he was great; a better master than I deserved, really. I was supposed to be trained by someone else, originally,” the code didn't work, so Anakin pulls his comm back out and looks at the message before trying again, “but then he died. The Council didn't actually want me trained at all, but he took me in. I wouldn't be the man or Jedi who I am today without him.” As the door slides open, Anakin lets his affection for his master flush out into the Force so that Obi-Wan can feel it, even though he doesn't know that it's for him.

“Ugh, the Council wanted to screw you over too?” Obi-Wan has a scowl on his face, but it's more akin to the ‘annoyed eyebrow scrunch of dissatisfaction’ that Anakin is used too than anything angry.

But as far as Anakin is aware, Obi-Wan is a Council darling. Why would they try and screw him over? How could they have screwed him over?

Anakin uses the Force to flick the lights on, and Obi-Wan raises his eyebrows.

“Doesn't that count as frivolous misuse of the Force?”

“Listen kid, the first thing you have to learn here is that the rules are a little flexible. It would have taken just as much energy to walk over to the light switch as it did to use the Force.”

He guides Obi-Wan over to the couch and sits them down, arms still around each other. “So, I figure we should get to know each other.”

Obi-Wan scowls again - Anakin now has proof that he's not the reason - okay that he's not the _only_ reason - that Obi-Wan had a wrinkle between his eyebrows at 30 - and huffs, pulling his arm back from around Anakin's waist - Anakin panics for a minutes but it must be squished between his not-insubstantial body weight and the couch, and shifts so that his back is to Anakin's side, effectively still cuddling Anakin but not looking at him.

“What do you want to know?”

Anakin shifts too, so that Obi-Wan’s back is more on his chest instead of his side. “How about you ask me a question first?”

Obi-Wan hesitates. “If you don't want to answer, that is entirely within your rights but…do you remember your parents?”

“That’s a good question, and I don't mind answering it. I didn't have a dad, but I remember my mom.”

Obi-Wan, thankfully, didn't ask about the biological impossibility of not having a father. “What was she like? What was her name?”

“Her name was Shmi, and she was the best person in the world. Like you know, I grew up a slave, because on Tatooine children follow the mother - so that men can get away with forcing themselves on any woman they please, really - so she was also a slave. We didn't have much, but we got by. The Trodarian who,” Anakin swallows, “who owned us wasn't kind, but he wasn't cruel. We were valuable, cause we could fix stuff. Well, really, _she_ could fix stuff, and she taught me how to do it too. She - I know now how hard it must have been for her but - she let me go with Qu-” Anakin purposely coughs to cover up the fact that he almost said Qui-Gon’s name. “With the Jedi who found me, because she knew that it would be a better life for me. The only time I saw her after I left was when she died in my arms.”

“Oh Anakin,” Obi-Wan turns. “I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if Qui-Gon died. How old were you?”

Anakin swallows. “Nineteen. And I - she had been taken captive by some Tusken raiders and - and I _slaughtered them all._  And I, I've only ever told the friend that was with me at the time.”

“Oh, Anakin.” Obi-Wan turns completely towards him and pulls Anakin's face into his neck. “I'm so sorry. To be truthful, if anything happened to Qui-Gon, I'd probably slaughter whoever did it as well.”

Anakin lets out a bitter laugh - he's not crying, but it's a near thing - and doesn't tell Obi-Wan that he _did_ slaughter the thing that killed Qui-Gon.

“What about you?” Anakin asks.

“What about me? Oh. I don’t remember my parents. I barely remember being a young child, really.”

“Wait, really? That’s sad.”

“Not really.” Obi-Wan shifts again so that he and Anakin are leaning against each other. Obi-Wan’s hair tickles Anakin’s neck. “If it was anything like my early teen years, that’s probably for the best.”

Anakin looks down at him. “What the hell do you mean?” As far as Anakin knows, Obi-Wan has never done anything bad in his life.

“Oh, haven’t you heard?” Obi-Wan’s tone is light, so Anakin is expecting some sort terrible truth to rear its head any moment. “I’m a complete disaster. A disgrace to the Order. Unworthy of such an _esteemed master_.” The sarcasm is back, and Anakin didn’t really pay attention to what Obi-Wan said next, because he’s had another breakthrough.

Obi-Wan’s sarcasm is almost entirely a defense mechanism. Anakin wants to punch himself in the face. He’d gone his entire apprenticeship without figuring out some fairly basic facts about his master.

To be fair to himself, however, Anakin will acknowledge that Obi-Wan did sort of curl in on himself for the role of the perfect Jedi that he had - wrongly - thought that Anakin had needed. Anakin had needed a friend, and it had taken Obi-Wan way too long to figure that out.

“I’m surprised that you hadn’t heard about all my failed attempts to become a Padawan. It was the best gossip at the time; which knight or master has turned away Obi-Wan Kenobi today?”

Anakin’s stomach was filled with stones. “But then Qui-Gon picked you, right?”

Obi-Wan looked at him funny for a moment, and then burst into a laugh. “Have you been on the Outer Rim for the past ten years?”

“Yeah….kind of. Why are you laughing?”

Obi-Wan’s laughter, and the mirth in his eyes, died. “They shipped me off the the fucking AgriCorps.”

“WHAT?”

Obi-Wan pulls away from Anakin, leans against the other end of the couch, and curls into a ball, knees towards his chest.

“Yes. I turned thirteen and no one wanted me, so they shipped me off to the AgriCorps. Nevermind that I passed almost every test that anyone could think to give me. Master Jinn thought that there was too much _anger_ in me. Of fucking course I was angry!” Obi-Wan is standing now, and starts stomping back and forth. “All my life they told me that - _Yoda_ promised me! - that I would be a Jedi! And then all my creche mates start getting apprenticed and then there’s just me! And no one wanted me! And they-” Obi-Wan stops, and a sob breaks out. “They promised, and they lied.”

Anakin stands and pulls Obi-Wan into his arms.

“Bant...Bant tried to tell me that it would be alright. That I’d still find ways to save worlds, but that was batha shit and we both knew it. It wouldn’t be okay. It _wasn’t_ okay.”

Anakin rubs his flesh hand up and down Obi-Wan’s back as Obi-Wan gives a shudder against his chest. “But it turned out alright, didn’t it? You’re a Padawan now! Qui-Gon took you in.”

“Yes, he did. He’s been doing his duty as my master, and beyond that. We’ve...moved past most of the circumstances of the beginning of our working relationship. And I’ve...I’ve forgiven him. Really, I have.” Obi-Wan seems to be convincing himself more than Anakin, but Anakin isn’t about to interrupt him. “But sometimes, I...I can feel that he still has doubts about me and...and it _hurts._  I know that as Jedi we’re supposed to let things go but-”

“No, Obi-Wan. It’s okay. We’re only human. You’re allowed to feel things.” Anakin can feel wetness seeping through his tunics, and he feels anger run hotly through him.

“But Jedi are supposed to be beyond such things.”

“Obi-Wan. You’re allowed to _feel,_ dammit.” _‘If Obi-Wan were here he’d know just what to say. If Obi-Wan were here he’d know just what to say to himself? Stupid.’_ “It’s, listen, my master always said that we weren’t supposed to let our emotions control us.”

Obi-Wan sniffs. “I suppose he has a point.”

Anakin pulls them both back down towards the couch, and barely restrains himself from pulling Obi-Wan into his lap. “What makes you think that Qui-Gon has doubts? I don’t have any doubts.”

“You barely know me, Anakin.”

Anakin almost laughs. _‘Lies.’_ Anakin knows Obi-Wan better than anyone else in the galaxy.

“Just answer the question, Obi-Wan. Please.”

Obi-Wan swallows. “Because I almost blew myself up for that bastard and even then he _still_ didn’t want me.”

And, okay, wow. Anakin isn’t sure how to respond to this - _‘it’s a damn good thing that Qui-Gon is dead otherwise Anakin is going to kick his ass’_ \- but he needs to reassure Obi-Wan.

“I’m sure that he’s just doubting himself.”

Obi-Wan’s shoulder hitch again - in a sob or a laugh, Anakin doesn’t know. “The great Qui-Gon Jinn, doubting himself? You’d better check to see if any major suns have exploded recently, because that is surely a sign of the end times.”

“Well, then when he gets back I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.”

Obi-Wan waves his hand in the same dismissive gesture that had frustrated Anakin so much in his teen years. “That’s not necessary. Just because I’m inadequate doesn’t mean he has to suffer for it.”

“Obi-Wan - ah, Sith spit. You’re not inadequate.”

“Well, I’m glad someone thinks so.”

Anakin is interrupted in his response by his comm link chirping loudly.

He and Obi-Wan sit in uncomfortable silence for a moment before Obi-Wan speaks.

“Well? Are you going to check that?”

“We are in the middle of a conversation.”

Obi-Wan glares at him - and wow, mood swings - and says, “As far as I’m concerned, this conversation is _over_.”

“Okay, then, it is." Obi-Wan smirks triumphtly. “ _For now_.” Obi-Wan huffs.

_Change of plans. Don’t need to stop for a refuel. ETA now 6 hours._

Oh, right, Ashoka is coming home.

“Um...Obi-Wan?”

“Yes?” Short, clipped, still looking away. Fantastic, now Anakin _has_ fucked up, and Obi-Wan is mad at him.

“Remember the old Padawan that I mentioned?” At his stuff nod, Anakin continues. “She’s returning from a mission, and we have a tradition of meeting each other at the hanger.”

Anakin catches a trace of a thought in the Force, something like a _‘haven’t even been here a day, already being replaced,’_ but it’s gone before he can call Obi-Wan on it. “Her name is Ashoka. I’m sure she’d love to meet you. She’s real friendly.”

“Of course, whatever you wish, Anakin.” Anakin flinches. “When will she be arriving? Will she be staying here?”

“No, she has her own rooms now. And she’ll be here in about six hours. So we have just enough time for a quick nap before she gets here?”

“You’re completely within your rights to rest if you wish.”

 _‘Oh, for Force’s sake.’_ Anakin puts on a falsely cheery smile. “Great! I’ll set an alarm on my comm!” He does so, and grabs Obi-Wan’s leg, still feigning this - frankly disgusting - glee. “Come on! We’ll be much more comfortable if we take our boots off!”

He yanks Obi-Wan’s boots off, then his own, and pays no mind to his disgruntled, angry protests as he situates the two of them comfortably on the couch.

“We’ll make this place feel like home in no time, Obi, you’ll see.”

Obi-Wan huffs something like “don’t fucking call me that,” but otherwise doesn’t protest.

 _‘Maybe he likes cuddles too much,’_ Anakin thinks, and now his glee is real.

He stays awake a little while longer, just to make sure than Obi-Wan doesn’t try and escape - the healers _had_ insisted on rest - and feels Obi-Wan let out a sigh, before he burrows closer to Anakin.

Anakin smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had plot stuff planned. ashoka was gonna show up.  
> but everything changed when anakin's octopus-like cuddle powers showed up.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the second time today, Anakin absolutely does not let out a shriek. Of course he doesn’t. He’s a Jedi trained in stealth and is fully aware of his surroundings, all of the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHSOKA IS IN THIS ONE I PROMISE!  
> Also as i was typing this chapter up i spelled her name 'ashoka' every single time and then had to go back and change it when there was no character tag for that name fml

The beeping of his comm wakes him up. He can't feel his arm, which wouldn't normally be weird, but it's the flesh hand he can't feel. He's also not in his bed - or Obi-Wan’s bed, which, yeah, has happened a few times - which is also weird. He _knows_ he’s not too big for Obi-Wan to carry and in the past, when he's fallen asleep on the couch, Obi-Wan has carried him back to his bed - a habit not entirely left in Anakin's Padawan days.

Anakin opens his eyes and - oh right, the complete mess of the previous day comes back. Because his arms are full of a very clingy Obi-Wan Kenobi, who has managed to turn over in his sleep, so that he's facing Anakin, one arm against his own chest, and the other grabbing at Anakin's shoulder blade. The - ahem - _leg situation_ is a bit more delicate, as - probably in an attempt not to fall off the couch - Obi-Wan has managed to slide one of his legs between both of Anakin's, with the other hitched around Anakin's thigh.

His face is pressed against Anakin's chest, and he’s breathing deeply, evenly - the same way that had always calmed Anakin's nightmares when he was younger.

But, as nice as this whole situation is, Anakin needs to get up to meet Ahsoka, and he would prefer to leave Obi-Wan asleep for that, so that has has a chance to explain to her what the hell is going on. Because normally Obi-Wan would come greet her too.

Anakin reassesses the situation.

If he can un-wedge Obi-Wan’s legs from between his - he does - and then turn Obi-Wan slightly on his back - Obi-Wan stirs slightly, and Anakin panics and sends a wave of strong sleep-suggestion - he can place Obi-Wan’s legs over his thigh - he doesn't stir this time, phew - slide his hand lower down his torso - _‘pins and needles pins and needles ow ow ow’_ \- and then carefully slide his feet to the ground. It works and Anakin cautiously sits up. The whole thing accumulates in Obi-Wan sitting in his lap.

Okay, step one is done.

Anakin carefully - carefully! - slips his arm under Obi-Wan’s knees, and stands.

He's a lot lighter than Anakin thinks someone of his size should be - are his bones hollow or something? - but from the few times he's carried Obi-Wan he _has_ felt a little lighter than he should be, so Anakin doesn't worry about it. Maybe it's just an Obi-Wan thing.

Logically speaking, he should put Obi-Wan in the smaller Padawan room, but he _really_ doesn't want to. He stands outside the door for a moment before relenting. Just for today, he’ll put him in the Master room. Just...in case he wakes up as his older self, or something. Yeah, that's certainly…an excuse.

Anakin places Obi-Wan down on top of the sheets, and pulls a blanket from the closet to spread over him. Anakin nods to himself.

He's shoving his feet back in his boots when the thought occurs: what if he wakes up and thinks Anakin has abandoned him?

Anakin stands, looking around. Ah. There's a small message board next to the fridge.

_Just went out to meet Ahsoka. I should be back soon; just relax and I'll bring her here._

Anakin thinks for a moment - this _is_ still Obi-Wan, after all - shrugs, and adds,

_Don't even think about doing anything strenuous. If you reopen that wound on your shoulder I will end you._

And just so Obi-Wan doesn't take it the wrong way,

_Because I care about you._

Yeah, that should do it.

He pointedly _does not_ run to the hanger, and waits near the dock that Ahsoka’s ship normally lands, definitely not bouncing in anticipation, because that would be _uncivilized_ and he was raised better than that.

He's totally calm, he's got this, he can do this - it's not like it's entirely his fault that the Order has _k_ _ind of_ lost one of its best generals or anything - he just needs to explain to Ahsoka - was Cody or Rex or any of the others with her? Shit, he can't remember - what happened and hope she doesn't laugh to his face - in the middle of the hanger, anyway; he's fully expecting her to laugh as him - and he probably deserves it - but he'd prefer if she wait till they're in a more private setting.

Anakin is so lost up in his thoughts and he doesn't hear it when she yells his name, barely senses her presence before she's jumped on him.

Due to his years of Jedi training, Anakin _definitely_ doesn't lose his balance _or_ squeal at an embarrassingly high pitch. Absolutely not.

“Skyguy! Everything okay? Where's Obi-Wan?”

Anakin blanches. “About that….”

“So, we're headed to the infirmary then? What did you two do _this_ time?”

Thankfully, Ahsoka looks fine - no injuries, at least.

Anakin wraps an arm around her shoulders and starts steering her towards the door. “Actually, no. It's...a bit stranger than that. I'll explain everything, I promise. Just not here.”

“Skyguy, you're starting to scare me.”

“He's fine! Just...stuff happened.”

Ahsoka rolls her eyes. “With you two, stuff is always happening.”

Which...fair.

Anakin doesn't say another word until they're in the lift, headed up to Anakin's new floor.

“Anakin, aren't we headed to the wrong floor?”

“Ah...no. Okay so, listen. Obi-Wan and I were doing some recon in this old underground library thing, and there was this holocron-”

“And you touched it, didn't you.” It's not a question.

“Yeah.”

“What the hell did it do to him if _you're_ the one who touched it?”

Anakin lets out a sort of unintentional whine. “I don't know _why_ it happened to him, but - _yes_ I know that it's all my fault don't make this worse - it, somehow, well-”

“Anakin if he's not dead it can't be that bad. Just spit it out.”

“It somehow transformed him back into his nineteen year old self and he doesn't remember anything from after that age.”

There's an uncomfortably long silence, in which Ahsoka stares at him, one side of her brow raised, scarily reminiscent of Obi-Wan.

Anakin sort of shrugs a bit and - and yeah, like he expected, she bursts out laughing at him.

“That's the dumbest joke you've ever made!”

“It's not a joke.”

“You've _gotta_ be shitting me.”

“I'm not.”

“I've got to see this to believe it.”

Anakin puts his hands in his hips. “Well, you will. I promised that I'd bring you to meet him and - oh! I'm temporarily promoting you to the rank of Jedi Knight. Cause I kind of told him that you were my former Padawan, so also please tell him that you're older than you look.”

Ahsoka lets out another giggle, her lekku twitching. “What's our cover story?”

“Your previous master died before they could finish training you, so I took over. Also we're not telling him the name of my master. _And_ he doesn't know Qui-Gon is dead yet, and I've been keeping him under the impression that he's not in what is technically his future.”

Ahsoka fixes her posture and says, in her most fake posh voice, “So we’re no more screwed than we normally are.”

“Basically, yeah.”

The lift opens, and Anakin gestures for her to exit first.

“So why aren't you in your normal room?”

“Because before that was mine and Obi-Wan’s room, it was Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s, so we can't go back _there_ because Qui-Gon’s signature is barely there anymore. How am I supposed to explain that the place reeks of me and him and not Qui-Gon at all?”

“Good point.” Ahsoka smirks at him. “You know, Skyguy...what's to stop me from telling him everything?”

 _Of_ course she's playing with him about this. “What do you want in exchange for your silence? Besides not being kicked out as my Padawan?” It's an old joke, always threatening to abandon the other, and they both know that it's not meant seriously.

“Let me stay in your room while you're gone! You've got a _way_ better view of the city.”

“Ahsoka, the whole damn planet is a city.”

“Yeah,” Ahsoka pleads. “But yours still had a better view!”

“Ugh, fine! Just...don't mess this up for me. You're not the one who has to deal with his moods.”

Ahsoka laughs again. “Obi-Wan? _Moods_?”

Anakin sighs, and bobs his head. “Yes. Obi-Wan. Moods.”

“Now, _this_ I've gotta see.”

Anakin sighs as he punches the code in wrong _again_. “Well, get ready.”

_‘It's a three on the end, not an eight.’_

The door opens.

“Wait, the thought occurs that he might still be asleep.”

Ahsoka grabs his elbow. “You left him asleep?”

“Well, he's had a very trying day!”

“I can assure you, I've had worse.”

For the second time today, Anakin absolutely does not let out a shriek. Of course he doesn’t. He’s a Jedi trained in stealth and is fully aware of his surroundings, all of the time.

“I do have fully functional ears, you know. I'm told that my hearing is actually slightly above average.” Obi-Wan is leaning against one of the counters, with a mug cradled between his hands - they're currently in the middle of what counts as Winter on Coruscant - and it smells decidedly _not_ like tea.

“Are you drinking caf?!”

Obi-Wan glares at him. “Is that against some sort of moral code you have?” Anakin shakes his head no. “Then stop acting as though I've murdered your firstborn.”

He sets his mug on the counter, and begins unpacking - oh, right, someone had been sent over to bring them groceries.

Obi-Wan pulls a jug out of a bag, and Anakin wouldn't have noticed the sharp hiss of his breath if he didn't know all of Obi-Wan’s pain responses.

“Obi-Wan, stop it! You'll reopen your wound-”

“And then you'll end me. Because you _care_.” Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and places the jug in the fridge. “I read your note. One would think your master would have endeavored to teach you better handwriting, as yours is positively _atrocious_ , but I suppose you can't be good at everything.”

Ahsoka snickers.

Obi-Wan turns on her, his face already unimpressed, and Anakin feels it again, that little trace of _‘I'm being replaced’_ shoved into the Force, and it hurts, because Anakin knows that this aloof anger is just a front to hide how scared Obi-Wan actually is by that thought. 

_'I wonder if it's possible to kick a dead person's ass.'_

So, now that their stance on hugs is established, Anakin picks up Obi-Wan’s mug and hands it to him, before laying a hand on his shoulder. “Obi-Wan you need to be careful. You got stabbed!”

Obi-Wan blushes and looks away, hiding his face in his mug. “Only a little….”

Ahsoka exhales quickly through her nose. “You only got stabbed a little?”

Obi-Wan leans into Anakin’s touch, closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and ignores her.

“I'm Ahsoka by the way,” she says, smiling. She holds out a hand that Obi-Wan gingerly takes and, with as little respect as possible, shakes twice, before releasing to move his hand to Anakin's hip.

“I'm well aware of who you are. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. Until my master returns Anakin will be teaching me.”

Oh, right. At some point Anakin is actually expected to train Obi-Wan.

Well this just keeps getting better and better, so long as the meaning of ‘better’ changes to ‘worse.’

“Yeah, Skyguy told me about you.” Ahsoka starts ruffling through the cupboards, and starts herself a mug of caf. “So I guess this means we're kind of siblings now!” She begins putting the groceries away, and Anakin wraps his arms around Obi-Wan to prevent him from trying to help.

Obi-Wan glares at him. “Fantastic.”

“Yep!” Anakin has clued in by now that Ahsoka is messing with him, but Obi-Wan doesn't know that, and Anakin can feel the irritation beginning to build inside him.

He rubs a hand up and down Obi-Wan’s back, the same way that had calmed him before. It unfortunately just earns him another glare.

“Well, since I've had such a _very trying day_ , I think I'm going to go back to sleep. The delivery woke me up, and I'm not feeling quite myself I'm afraid.”

He pushes Anakin away.

“Aren't you gonna finish your caf?” Ahsoka asks innocently, obviously trying to get him to stay longer, because the mug is full, with hot steam curling around the top, still too hot to drink.

Obi-Wan locks eyes with her. “Of course, you are correct, Knight Tano. One mustn't be wasteful.”

His brow is set and he grabs his mug, maintaining eye contact even as his head tilts back - and Anakin tries not to notice that his neck is very beautiful, bent back like that - to chug the entire damn thing in almost eleven seconds. Ahsoka stares at him, speechless.

“Well, now that I have finished my drink, I think I'll retire. Anakin, if you require anything of me, I'll be in my room.” He bows deeply, and Anakin _thinks_ he can see Obi-Wan’s tunic darkening over his wound, but before he can say anything, Obi-Wan cuts him off with a curt, “Anakin, Knight Tano,” before he turns on his heel and gently shuts the door to his room.

Anakin and Ahsoka stare at the door for a moment.

“I see what you mean by mood swings.”

Ahsoka starts a cup of caf for Anakin. “Is it just me or was he drinking _caf_ , not tea? Is the galaxy ending? I thought he hated caf.”

Anakin shrugs. “Guess not.”

Ahsoka hands Anakin his mug, and they start walking over to the couch. Another tradition of theirs is to watch a mindless holodrama to get their minds off of their previous mission.

“He, uh, he has his reasons for disliking you.”

Ahsoka makes a face. “Figured that part out for myself, thanks. Not really like Obi-Wan to be a complete asshole to someone he's just met for no reason.”

Anakin expects her to reach for the remote, but instead she just turns to face him. “Well? Are you gonna tell me, or what?”

“We probably shouldn't talk about him while he's here!”

“Alright, then let's go!” She stands.

"Go where?"

"Out!"

“We can't!”

“Why not?”

“I don't wanna leave him.”

“Anakin, he's a big boy, he can handle himself. Don't you want to take your _former Padawan_ out for a drink?” She's talking about louder than is necessary, probably trying to make sure Obi-Wan hears.

And on the one hand, Anakin _does_ want to tell her about it - he feels like he has to tell _someone_ , or else he's going to explode.

But on the other hand, he doesn't want to leave Obi-Wan alone. Anakin isn't going to go and leave with his old Padawan and make Obi-Wan think he’s unwanted now that he and Obi-Wan have a connection.

But Ahsoka is pulling in his arm, and his need to spill his guts to her is stronger than the voice in the back of his head telling him that he needs to stay. _‘He's probably sleeping anyway.’_

“Okay. We can go.”

Ahsoka cheers and Anakin shushes her.

“I'm gonna go tell him, I'll be right back.”

“He's not in charge of you, Skyguy.”

_‘Not right now, at least.’_

Anakin knocks on the door. No response. He knocks again. “Obi-Wan? Are you alright?”

No response.

Anakin thinks of the darkened part of Obi-Wan’s tunic earlier and begins to panic. He knocks again, louder. “Obi-Wan can I come in? Obi-Wan!”

No response.

Anakin shoves the door open and -

_‘Oh fuck.’_

“Ahsoka! I need you to call the healers _right now_!”

“What? What's wrong?” Ahsoka darts next to him, and gasps. “Yeah, healers. Now. On that.”

Obi-Wan has collapsed on the floor, sort of on his side, his head bent back at an odd angle. His face is paler than normal, and his Padawan Braid is flung out beside him.

Oh yeah, and he seems to be lying in a pool of his own blood, did Anakin mention that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...........i'm not sorry


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Bleeding is good. Bleeding means his heart is still beating.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a bit shorter than the rest, but i felt that this was a good place to leave it, so

Anakin steps into the room, thankful that it doesn't have any personal touches in it yet. They just would have gotten in the way. He can hear his boots squelch in Obi-Wan’s blood - his stomach churns, the caf threatening to make a reappearance, and Anakin gags - he’s never liked blood - but he kneels down - it seeps through his trousers, warm and wet and sticky - and pulls Obi-Wan’s tunic to the side, gagging again.

Anakin flails for a moment - yeah, he had been made to take a class in emergency care but Obi-Wan was always the one who _really_ too care of it, and Kix was around to take care of things these days, so Anakin hadn't used any of that knowledge in a while - before he decides that he's not going to risk it.

Obi-Wan doesn't have a neck or spinal injury, so it's be okay to move him. Anakin decides that he's just going to take Obi-Wan to the healers himself - Ahsoka should have been back by now!

Distantly, Anakin is aware that he was carrying Obi-Wan exactly like this not two hours ago - minus the profusely bleeding wound, of course.

What Anakin can't understand is that Obi-Wan just _keeps bleeding_. Surely it should clot at some point.

_‘Bleeding is good. Bleeding means his heart is still beating.’_

Speaking of beating, Anakin is beating himself up because he couldn't remember to cover the wound at all - because the blood is dripping onto his feet as he waits in the lift - it's too many stairs down, it would jostle his precious load in his arms too much - how is there so much of it? How is there so much blood in someone who seems so small?

Anakin begs the Force to let this damn lift go faster - his master might _literally_ be dying in his arms before he even has the chance to become Anakin's master - he can't do this again - he can't hold the person that he loves most in his arms and feel them slip beyond his reach - not again - not after Mom.

Anakin swallows down a sob. He's not going to let Obi-Wan die today. He can take care of Obi-Wan for a _day_. Anakin's never been particularly good with Force-healing, but he remembers some basics. He reaches out, and coaxes some of the Lightest part of the Force to mingle with the part of the Force that was embodied in Obi-Wan, which was draining out just as surely as the blood from his veins. He doesn't dare do anything more drastic, too afraid of making things worse. He can't even get into Obi-Wan’s mind - apparently he's had durasteel shields even as a Padawan, which, honestly, how in the fuck? - to force him into a healing trance.

The lift doors open with a ding, and Anakin starts off as fast as he dares with Obi-Wan towards the Healing wing.

Ahsoka is there, talking to two of the healers - one of them is Bant, she's Obi-Wan’s friend, one of the people who remembers what Obi-Wan was like at this age - and he yells her name. When she turns, she gasps.

Distantly, Anakin realizes that he and Obi-Wan must make a terrifying image - Obi-Wan is wearing his usual light colored robes, but his tunics are now covered in blood, which is staining the fabric a dark red. Anakin was covered in it too - he could feel some of it drying on his neck - and the _smell_ \- it clings to the air around Anakin, and as soon as he notices it - metallic, because of the high iron count, he learned this from Kix - and what he wouldn't do to have the man himself here now - he feels bile rising in his throat again.

He stumbles forward, and feels more than hears the echo of shouted words that hazily try to enter his panicking mind. Bant is calling for a gurney.

As much as he trusts Bant - as much as he know _Obi-Wan_ trusts Bant - his arms instinctively tighten around Obi-Wan’s pliant body. Obi-Wan and Anakin both hate this place and talk their way out of it at any opportunity. The thought of handing Obi-Wan over makes a cold hand grip his heart and a voice in his head whispers _‘betrayal.’_

But Obi-Wan isn't dying on Anakin's watch, so he places him on the gurney and only then does his vision begin to blur. Bant takes a moment to look at him. She grabs him by the shoulders.

“Anakin, I _promise_ that I will do everything in my power to help him.”

And then she is running after gurney, calling ahead for things Anakin can't comprehend.

Anakin takes a breath.

He becomes aware that his entire body is cold, like he’s the one who was bleeding out, not Obi-Wan. A sob finally works its way out of him, shaking his entire body, and he collapses to his knees.

His hand covers his mouth, and his eyes won't close, locked on the door that lays between him and Obi-Wan. He knows that Obi-Wan is in good hands, but he wants more than anything to just tear through the door and latch onto Obi-Wan’s side.

He _needs_ to know that Obi-Wan is okay. He needs it more than the air in his lungs.

And he has no way of knowing - their training bond hasn't been made yet, technically.

Anakin’s head finally drops as he buries his face in his hands, cursing his younger self for having been so stupid as to ever have wished that Obi-Wan not be in his mind.

His mind feels empty, the world feels cold, and Anakin can feel his body swaying, knows he's going into shock, but all he can visualize is an endless abyss of the type of darkness that Jedi Masters worry about.

He feels Ahsoka place one of her hands on his shoulder. “C’mon. Let's get you cleaned up.”

Anakin doesn't move. She kneels in front of him.

“Skyguy. Anakin. Come on. You'll be able to see him by the time we get back.”

Anakin just shakes his head, and pulls her close to him. He feels her stiffen for a moment, but then he feels her let out a shudder of her own.

Because Ahsoka loves Obi-Wan too.

She wraps her arms around him, and buries a hand in his hair - Obi-Wan probably let slip to her that playing with his hair is a sure-fire way to calm him, and surprisingly, Anakin doesn't hate him for it. He doesn't have the energy to hate him even jokingly, not right now.

Anakin doesn't know how long they kneel there, but no one tries to move them.

* * *

 

Anakin doesn't think he's ever been so damn angry in his entire life.

Obi-Wan thinks that he knows _fucking everything,_  but he doesn't!

Anakin can feel anger running through his blood, his body feels warm and his vision is blurry with angry tears.

He can't remember what exactly had started this fight, but he knows that he's going to finish it. Obi-Wan is lecturing him with that look on his face that says that he would like to punch Anakin in the face if he thought that it would be worth the trouble, and Anakin _hates_ him.

“WELL IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH, WHY DON’T YOU JUST GET RID OF ME? I’M SURE THAT A LOT OF OTHER MASTERS WOULD LIKE TO TRAIN ME! I’M THE CHOSEN ONE! OR BETTER YET, YOU COULD JUST SHIP ME BACK TO TATOOINE!”

He's nearing Obi-Wan’s height now, so he doesn't have to tilt his head all the way back to glare directly into Obi-Wan’s eyes.

“Believe me, you disgusting _brat_ , if it weren't for the fact that it would violate Qui-Gon’s dying wish, I _would_.”

As juxtaposition to Anakin’s lava hot, deafening yells, Obi-Wan’s voice is ice incarnate - biting, cold, and willing to take its time to complete its destruction.

That comment confuses Anakin, and he hates it.

“What the hell does that mean?”

There is no warmth in Obi-Wan’s eyes as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“He made me promise to train you. Are you really so stupid as to think I keep you around of my own free will?”

Anakin knows that Obi-Wan is trying to hurt him but Anakin has found the entry point for his killing blow.

He starts laughing.

Obi-Wan groans. “And what's so funny about that?”

Anakin levels a smirk at him. “He never wanted you. You're just a stupid placeholder! You're not any better than his stupid plants, you were just something to keep him from being _bored_! He was gonna push you away so that _he_ could train _me._  Maybe he always saw what no one will say to your FACE: you've never been good enough, and guess what - you never will be! He was just eager to get rid of you before you could EMBARRASS him anymore! He knew that I'm better than you! I _deserve_ a better master, just like Qui-Gon _deserved_ a better Padawan!”

Obi-Wan looks furious in a way that Anakin has never seen, but at least now Obi-Wan is showing _something_ in his face, so Anakin's smirk grows, and he ploughs on. He lowers his voice so that Obi-Wan will listen more intently.

“Maybe if you were a better Jedi, Qui-Gon wouldn't have died.”

Anakin has read cliches about room temperatures dropping in moments of high emotion, and it's all bantha shit. He feels like it's a thousand degrees. Anakin grins triumphantly.

Something in Obi-Wan’s eyes _breaks_. He inhales, opens his mouth to speak -

And a positively _inhuman_ sound explodes out of him.

It's not a scream, it's not a sob, it's simply grief incarnate, made into sound, the purest expression of the feeling that Anakin has encountered.

His face is covered in tears in an instant - Anakin takes a step back - he's never seen Obi-Wan _cry_ before, didn't really think he even _could_.

Obi-Wan waves his hand in an indecipherable manner, a choking sound in his throat, and another keen of grief captures the room.

Anakin reaches out, an apology already forming on his lips -

But Obi-Wan flinches away from him the same way that Anakin has seen slaves flinch away from masters who beat them, curling in on himself in an attempt to protect himself. He falls over gracelessly.

Obi-Wan makes another pained, remorseful sound, clambering to his feet again. His movements are quick and jerking - Anakin has never seen him move like this. Obi-Wan makes a sound that Anakin _thinks_ is an apology - which, no, Anakin is the one who is being a massive ass right now, Obi-Wan isn't _allowed_ to apologize - and runs off to his room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

The thing about doors is - they don't really stop noise that well. Anakin can still hear the almost animalistic sounds - screams, gasps, sobs - of the most primal form of grief. He makes a move towards Obi-Wan’s room - he didn't mean it, he didn't mean it, he _didn't mean it_ \- but before he can take more than a step, he collapses.

Obi-Wan’s shields have come clattering down, and Anakin has a front row seat to the horror of watching Obi-Wan Kenobi’s mind _shatter_.

There's barely anything of Obi-Wan left in his consciousness - all there is is this _grief_ that, even secondhand, is drowning him. He feels like his skin is going to peel off.

The world gets hazy, the pain in his head mixes with the loud, echoing noises that _he's_ responsible for pushing Obi-Wan to. There isn't even time for one sound to end before another sound begins. He can hear scuffling behind the door, like Obi-Wan is kicking and shaking.

Anakin does the only thing he can think to do:

He runs away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one....this one i am actually sorry for


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin likes Bant - no, scratch that, Anakin loves Bant - she's surely some type of benevolent deity that descended from above to grace lowly mortals like Anakin with her presence. He hugs her.
> 
> “Thank you so much, Bant. I can't thank you enough.”
> 
> “He's my friend too, Anakin,” Bant says as she releases him. “Just like you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Just wanted to address the end of the last chapter real quick cause some people were confused.  
> It wasn't a dream, and it wasn't Anakin explicitly remembering it; I just had the idea of what that's what happened with the fight, and someone had asked about it, so when the chapter felt too short, I tacked it onto the end. The only important take away is that Anakin doesn't remember that fight currently.

At some point, Anakin must have fallen asleep, because he drifts back into consciousness to someone gently patting his shoulder and calling his name.

“Anakin, Anakin, wake up, I have news.” It's Bant, and she must have changed into fresh robes, because there's no way that she worked in Obi-Wan without getting any blood on those pristine white robes.

Anakin shakes his head groggily. “What is it? He okay?”

Bant laughs at him a little, and Anakin calms down - if she's laughing, he's okay.

“Yeah. Mostly. Had to do a massive blood transfusion, his Force abilities will feel a bit wonky for a while as his body mixes his own midichlorians, so please keep him from doing anything strenuous-”

“Yeah, because I'm so great at stopping Obi-Wan from doing things. We just proved that.”

Bant smiles at his interruption. “Tell him that it's a command from his healers.”

Anakin raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, because-”

“Tell him that if he doesn't follow orders with you in the apartment, he will be tied to the bed that he's currently lying in for two months.”

Anakin laughs as he stands, because Bant of all people knows how Obi-Wan can get; they grew up together. His body feels too light. “How long has it been?”

“About five hours.”

Oh. Anakin looks down at his Padawan, curled up on the floor with her thumbnail partially in her mouth - it's a habit that only pops back up after severe distress, and Anakin isn't about to call out someone else's coping mechanism. _‘She deserves a nap anyway.’_

“You can go in and see him if you want. I'll make sure Ahsoka gets back to her room.”

Anakin likes Bant - no, scratch that, Anakin _loves_ Bant - she's surely some type of benevolent deity that descended from above to grace lowly mortals like Anakin with her presence. He hugs her.

“Thank you so much, Bant. I can't thank you enough.”

“He's my friend too, Anakin,” Bant says as she releases him. “Just like you are.”

Yeah, Anakin totally isn't worthy. “She's actually staying in my room right now.”

Bant nods, and kneels down to coax Ahsoka awake with the good news after she points the room out to Anakin.

He looks back at Ahsoka to make sure that she's okay - he can feel the dried blood on his neck cracking, which, gross - and she smiles encouragingly at him.

He knocks on the door softly - if Obi-Wan isn't awake, he won't be the one to wake him - and recives a tired, gravely, “come in,” in return.

Anakin opens the door as little as possible - the lights are all off, maybe Obi-Wan has a headache - and slides in before shutting it again.

“Can you turn the lights on, actually?” Obi-Wan asks. “I can't see for shit.”

Anakin chuckles, his heart lifting - if he good enough to make jokes, he's likely out of danger. “Why can't you?”

Obi-Wan lets out a put-upon sigh. “And how would you suggest I do that?”

Anakin smirks - this banter is familiar, it's comforting - with the lights off, Anakin can pretend that this is _his_ Obi-Wan. “Use the Force, Obi-Wan.”

“Haha. You probably know very well that I'm forbidden from such things for another two days, _and_ that I have been threatened with restrains if I try to do much as sit up. And, believe it or not, I am not a fan of that idea.”

Anakin snickers, steels himself, and flicks the light on.

He had prepared himself mentally for what he might see, but yeah, he's still not ready to see it.

He's pale. Paler than normal - bone pale, with no rosy hint underneath - and his eyes have huge bags under them. His new, littler Obi-Wan has changed so much in just a few hours, and Anakin almost wants to cry.

Anakin swallows down his distress - puts it in a bottle, puts a cap on the bottle, puts the bottle in a box, and kicks the box as hard as he can away from the foreground; back into the area that Anakin likes to call 'deal with this later' - of course 'later' meaning 'never' more often than not - and moves closer to the bed. “So? How are you feeling?”

Obi-Wan lets out another groan and lets his head drop. “Just stab me in the face and end my misery.”

Anakin giggles. “I'd rather _not_ do that actually.”

Obi-Wan lifts his head just enough to glare at him. “And why fucking not.” It isn't a question - they both know the _real_ answer. Obi-Wan’s voice from - can if only have been a few hours ago? - rings in Anakin's mind.

 _“Because you_ **_care_** _.”_

But admitting that out loud doesn't really fit their current dynamic, so -

“Cause I don't want Qui-Gon coming after me like some vengeful god for murdering his Padawan on cold blood.”

Obi-Wan give the little huffed exhalation noise that most people interpret as displeasure, but Anakin knows better. Obi-Wan doesn't want to laugh, but he _did_ think it was funny. Another win.

“I highly doubt that he'd go _full_ vengeful god on you, Anakin. Slightly pissed-off god feels more likely.”

Anakin takes a chance and sits down on the bed next to Obi-Wan’s legs. “Oh? Why not?”

Obi-Wan grumbles, “so fucking full of questions today aren't we,” and he sounds so much like the silly stuffy master that Obi-Wan would joke to be sometimes that Anakin snorts.

“Really, though, Obi-Wan. You think he doesn't care about you enough to go full tilt at me?”

Obi-Wan hesitates. “Not...exactly.”

Anakin takes another chance, and holds Obi-Wan’s right hand in both of his. “Obi- _Wan_.”

“Okay, okay, fine. Mostly, I think that he wouldn't go ‘full tilt,’ as you put it, on you because you are a fellow Jedi. He might dial it back a click or two to make it seem like you have a chance.” They share a grin. “Also you could tell him that I bled to death, just so we keep all our options open.”

Anakin’s back straightens. “About that….”

“Oh right,” Obi-Wan says, “you're going to be ending me anyway. Because you care. Since you threatened first, I am clearly blameless; have fun fighting my Master, let him know that I think his plants are a mind-fogging bother, that I've always hated his thrice-damned teas, and that I've always liked Dooku better than him anyway.” Obi-Wan’s face breaks into the smile that means he knows he's won.

“Why do you like Dooku better?” To Anakin's knowledge, Dooku was just a Fallen Jedi, so what connection did he have to Obi-Wan?

Obi-Wan scoffs. “Because Master Yan can be _reasoned_ with! Any time I try to talk to Master Jinn about things, he always insists that he's right, never allows himself to even _think_ of what my point might be, and tells me to be quiet. Master Yan explains to me why he thinks I'm wrong, and allows me to do the same to him.” Obi-Wan looks at the wall. “I...I shouldn't betray my Master like this, but….”

“Go ahead, Obi-Wan. You can tell me.”

Obi-Wan looks at Anakin. “I know.”

He takes a deep breath. “There are still, I will admit, parts of me that wish that Master Yan had been on planet near the time I would have been chosen. I,” Obi-Wan swallows, and when he inhales his nose sounds runny. “I think I would have _liked_ being his Padawan.” He can't meet Anakin's eyes. “And, you must admit, a lot of disaster would have been avoided if I was.”

“Well that's true. But you're not alone, Obi-Wan. I've been knighted, and I love my Master, but sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have been someone else's Padawan. One time, well, a few times, really, I wondered what it would have been like to be Master Jinn’s Padawan.”

Obi-Wan hums. “Well, I cannot in good faith say that I would recommend it.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

They sit in silence for a few long moments before Obi-Wan huffs a laugh and starts talking again. His voice is thick like he's about to cry.

“The worst part is that there were times when I _knew_ what it would have been like. Master Yan was someone I really felt I got along with. Qui-Gon would have me stay with him sometimes - not unlike our current arrangement,” Obi-Wan gestures between Anakin and himself, “when he was away on missions deemed too dangerous for me, or if I had an important test coming up. It's only happened a handful of times, but...even though he pretended he didn't give a fuck about me…I could tell that he did. He had this, well, it was sort of a smirk, where his nostrils would flare a little and the corner of his mouth would tug up. He gave me that look a lot.” Obi-Wan smiles. “He likes me, I know he does; he used to visit me in the crèche - he'd pick me up and ask me questions about the Force and what we were learning. He'd take me to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, and didn't seem to seriously mind when I used the Force to splash him. He told me I had potential.” Obi-Wan glances down, embarrassed.

Anakin shifts, uncomfortable with the idea of Obi-Wan and Dooku ever having been close - slightly infuriated by the idea of Dooku ever having had his _eye_ on Obi-Wan. That Darksider didn't _deserve_ to know stuff about Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan laughs, thankfully breaking Anakin out of that distressing train of thought. “One time, one time he actually said that I make tea better than Qui-Gon ever did.”

Anakin pauses - because, honestly, what the hell - and decides that there's no harm in asking.

“Okay two questions: firstly, how does he know how Qui-Gon makes tea, and secondly, why would Qui-Gon trust you with him?”

Obi-Wan smirks. “Counterpoint, why does Qui-Gon trust me with _you?_ ”

Anakin breaks their eye contact. Even at nineteen, the foundations for what will eventually get Obi-Wan known as The Negotiator are front and center. “That's...a good point.”

Obi-Wan laughs again. Some of the color is back in his face, and Anakin has to smile.

“The answer to both questions is the same: Master Dooku is my Grand-Master. He trained Qui-Gon.”

Anakin gapes. “Wha...?”

There's a beat of silence, and then Obi-Wan bursts into a fit of giggles - some quick, high-pitched noises - which only makes Anakin's jaw drop further, because he's never heard Obi-Wan _giggle_ before.

“The…the look! On your face! I,” more giggles. “Oh, Anakin.”

Obi-Wan looks at Anakin's face again and another round of laughter breaks out. Anakin joins in, still confused.

Obi-Wan tries to sit up some, but a pained noise bursts out of him.

Anakin is up like a shot, wasting no time in easing Obi-Wan back down on to the bed. “Woah, woah, easy there, Obi.”

Obi-Wan glares at him. “I told you not to fucking call me that.” He does sit down though, so Anakin counts that as a win.

“Okay, but you need to _be careful._ You almost died!”

Obi-Wan huffs. “I didn't not almost die.”

Anakin hesitates and looks away. “...there was a lot of blood, Obi-Wan. Your heart stopped.”

There's a moment of silence.

“Oh. I'm sorry, Anakin. I didn't mean to worry you.”

“You know why I worry, Obi-Wan?” Anakin shifts so that he's closer to Obi-Wan.

The corner of Obi-Wan’s mouth lifts in the small echo of a smile.

He and Anakin speak together. “Because you care.”

And yeah, Anakin spoke of himself in the second person - _'it wouldn't have been as cute if I had said, "because I care," so fight me.'_

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan isn't looking at him, and his cheeks are a pale pink.

“Yeah?”

“Would you, uhh, would you mind if-” he clears his throat. “I-I quite liked the hug you gave me, could I maybe, uhh, have another one of those, if it's, ah,” he clears his throat _again_ , “if that's not too much trouble.”

Anakin smiles - his heart lifts. “Are you - are you _nervous_ to ask for a hug, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan lifts his head, mouth open to protest, but then his brow twists in pain and he sighs in defeat. “Fine. Yes, I am.”

Anakin stands, rolls his shoulders so his spine will crack, and asks, “Counterpoint - are you asking for a hug or a cuddle?”

Obi-Wan’s cheeks flush further. “The um, the latter, I suppose.”

“Good.” Anakin toes off his boots. “I know that I spent the majority of the last day asleep, but damn if I don't think I could sleep away another.”

Obi-Wan shifts over to make sure Anakin has room on the small cot, and they both shift around a bit before settling into a comfortable position.

Anakin is on his left side, left arm extended out, and his right arm rests on Obi-Wan’s waist. Obi-Wan is still on his back - he had tried to move to his side as well, but Anakin had given him a disapproving grunt - with his right hand on his own stomach, and his left curled around Anakin's. His head lies pillowed on Anakin's arm.

Right before Anakin drifts off to sleep for the - third? - time that day, he hears Obi-Wan grumble out, “that's not how the word counterpoint is used, asshole,” and Anakin smiles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope that the fluff makes up for the previous pain??
> 
> Also Yan is Dooku's first name. I had Obi-Wan calling him Master Yan and Qui-Gon Master Jinn to show that Obi-Wan feels closer to Dooku 
> 
> aaaaaaaaaand since im posting this after midnight my timezone, it's officially my birthday!!! Wooo! im now the age of de-aged obiwan XD
> 
> Also I slipped an "I know" in there ;)
> 
> sorry if this one feels shorter than usual, i just felt that that was a good place to end it
> 
> IF YOURE READING THIS IN ONE GO PLS TAKE A QUICK BREAK TO DRINK SOME WATER OR REST YOUR EYES FOR A MOMENT OR STAND UP OR SOMETHING


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan grabs his sleeve. “Thank you, Anakin. For caring about me.”
> 
> ‘I can't think of a universe where I don't,’ Anakin wants to say. ‘More than anything else,’ Anakin wants to say. ‘If you died I think I'd follow,’ Anakin wants to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi...so, uh.....I'm not dead!  
> I've been busy procrastinating and ignoring my responsibilities before school starts, and I was also in a show, so things became a little, well, forgotten.  
> But I remember that this fic exists, and I remember all of you!  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it's a bit shorter than normal.

“Well, this is cute.”

Anakin's eyes half open. “Huh?”

Ahsoka is sitting in a chair that Anakin hadn't noticed before, though it is now directly in his line of sight.

“I never figured Obi-Wan for a cuddler at least. You? Absolutely. Him? Nah.”

Anakin tries to shrug, but his shoulder is trapped, so he twists his face into an approximation of a shrug.

Neither of them talks for awhile, and the only sound in the room is their breathing. Anakin notices that both his and Ahsoka’s breathing natuarally syncs up with Obi-Wan’s. 

Ahsoka is the one who finally breaks the silence. “So, Skyguy, do you know what happened to make,” she gestures vaguely at Obi-Wan’s upper body, “that happen?”

Anakin shakes his head. “No. He never told me that story.”

“Are there other, similar stories?”

Anakin cracks a sad smile. “Jedi robes hide a lot.”

Ahsoka pales slightly. “Is there...a lot to be hidden?”

“Not really. Or maybe there is. I'm not exactly the best judge of what a normal amount of scars and injuries are. He probably has more than most Jedi. He has one or two more than me.”

Ahsoka shifts slightly, a little uncomfortable. “So you know how most of them happened?”

“Most of them, yeah probably. I was there for most of them. We've got a few matching ones, and-”

“You guys have matching scars? I think that's the most  _ you two  _ thing I've ever heard.”

Anakin rolls his eyes. “But he never told me the stories of the ones he already had. It was just one of those things we never talked about...after...and it never came up after that, so I never asked.”

Ahsoka’s brow furrows. “After what?”

“After Qu-” Anakin feels Obi-Wan shift in his arms. The Obi-Wan who doesn't know what happened to his Master. “I'll tell you later. Get out of here.” Ahsoka looks like she's going to protest. “ _ Now _ .”

She glares at him, but leaves quickly.

The door has barely closed before Obi-Wan stirs further. “ _ Ahh _ -nakin?” Obi-Wan’s voice is hoarse and grainy with sleep.

“Right here.”

“When the fuck can I get out of here?”

“Bant said about a week.”

“If I promise to behave, do you think Bant will let me stay in our room?”

Anakin thought about it for a moment. “As long as she can do surprise visits.”

Obi-Wan let out a long suffering sigh. “If I must.”

Anakin laughed and began getting up to go talk it over with Bant. 

Obi-Wan grabs his sleeve. “Thank you, Anakin. For caring about me.”

_ ‘I can't think of a universe where I don't,’  _ Anakin wants to say.  _ ‘More than anything else,’  _ Anakin wants to say.  _ ‘If you died I think I'd follow,’ _ Anakin wants to say. 

“You're welcome,” Anakin does say.

* * *

 

After Obi-Wan is settled into his bed in his and Anakin's room - with many vaguely threatening looks from Bant - more than necessary, Anakin thought - Anakin began the self-assigned mission of completing all the backed up paperwork from his and Obi-Wan’s previous missions. Normally, Obi-Wan did this, and as soon as he was halfway done with the first one, Anakin remembered why. 

This was so  _ boring. _

Anakin is going to  _ die  _ of boredom. Ahsoka would find his body wasting away over  _ all this damn paperwork _ . 

How did Obi-Wan have the patience to - actually, if he thinks about it for more than two seconds, Anakin knows the answer to that question. 

While he - mindlessly - continued to fill out all the requisite areas, Anakin tried to think what the hell would happen until Obi-Wan got back to normal. 

Anakin knew he was expected to teach Obi-Wan at some point - teach him  _ what  _ exactly, Anakin didn't know. But it wasn't like they could go on any missions. There would be too much explaining to be done as to why the galaxy was at war. 

Well, the first matter could be solved by looking back into Qui-Gon’s mission reports and status updates from up until Obi-Wan was 19. Easily enough done.

Plan A: Just go to the library, and convince them to let him into locked Master files, even though he wasn't a Master. 

Plan B: Sneak into the files using Obi-Wan’s code, which Anakin has known for years. 

Plan C: Hack into the files and hope for the best. 

Anakin rubbed his temples. He knew that the library staff didn't like him enough to do him any favors, and the Council had probably put a lock on Obi-Wan’s account. Which left plan C. Or….

Plan D: Ask Mace Windu very nicely. 

Considering plan D involved not only the least amount of work, but also the opportunity to mess with Mace Windu - and Anakin can try plan C if plan D fails - Anakin figures he'll start with that one first.

He stands and stretches, and walks over to the door to Obi-Wan’s room. 

He knocks lightly on the door, and opens it. 

“I'm going to the library. Do you want anything?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” Obi-Wan emphatically replies. “I think I'm going to  _ die  _ of boredom. Bring me literally anything to read. I beg you, Anakin.”

Anakin laughs. “Don't you think you're being a little overdramatic?”

“Anakin, you mock my pain.”

“Alright, literally anything from the library. Got it.”

He closes the door, but not before he hears Obi-Wan yell, “please make it interesting!”

Anakin smiles to himself, and heads for the library, pulling out his comm and sending a message to Windu asking him to meet him there. 

Anakin tries to keep the smirk off his face. 

_ ‘Oh sweet Force. This is going to be  _ **_fun_ ** _.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the paraphrased words of my favorite game of thrones house, "Plot is Coming."


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the hell do you want, Skywalker?” Mace Windu looks like he has just gotten out of bed, and Anakin realizes belatedly that it's the middle of the night.
> 
> ‘Shit.’ Anakin thinks giddily. ‘This is going to be great.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a full time college student again and I have responsibilities besides fic writing. Sorry.  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

“What the hell do you want, Skywalker?” Mace Windu looks like he has just gotten out of bed, and Anakin realizes belatedly that it's the middle of the night. 

_ ‘Shit.’  _ Anakin thinks giddily.  _ ‘This is going to be  _ **_great_ ** _.’ _

“Sooooooo,” he starts, sliding into the seat next to Windu,  _ technically  _ more in his personal space that is necessary. “If I'm supposed to be Obi-Wan’s stand-in Master, I think it would only be proper if I were to have access to his records.”

Windu sighs, and he looks like he's deflated. “Those are restricted access only.”

Anakin puts on his most innocent face. “I know that, but I just want to make sure that I can teach Obi-Wan as well as I possibly can. If I could know what he already knows and could do….” He trails off, and flutters his eyelashes a little, just to be a shit. 

“Those can only be accessed by a Jedi Master. And, I'll remind you, Skywalker, you aren't one.”

_ ‘Don't fucking remind me.’ _

“But Master Windu, we have no idea what Obi-Wan might be like when he comes back! I'd hate to be responsible for somehow lessening his skills and abilities.” Anakin is blatantly using the fact that Windu would rather be back in his bed than in the Library at who-knows-when in the morning, and he can see it starting to work.

Windu drags a hand down his face. “Dammit. Fine. But I reserve the right to edit and redact it as I see fit. Am I understood, Skywalker?” Anakin nods; he can hack into it later and see the juicy stuff, no problem. “Good. I’ll have it to you tomorrow morning.”

Anakin bows deeply, and smiles beatifically at Windu, who only sighs. “Just get the hell out of here.”

Anakin salutes him - with only a little bit of sarcasm - and walks deeper into the library, randomly grabs a holobook off a shelf, and begins the walk back to his and Obi-Wan’s room.

When he gets back, Obi-Wan is sound asleep, head tilted to the side. There's now hair to brush out of his face with him this young - Anakin hadn't realized how fucking ugly that padawan haircut was until his no longer was required to have it, holy shit - so Anakin brushes his hand against Obi-Wan’s forehead with the feeble excuse in mind of taking his temperature in case Obi-Wan wakes up. The dark purple color of the spreading bruise creeps along his pale neck, and Anakin thinks that, like this - with Obi-Wan spread out comfortably on the rustled sheets, his limbs lax and his breathing deep - it's almost too easy to imagine the mark as a love mark. Something chewed into skin to muffle satisfied sounds. 

Anakin shakes the thought from his head.  _ ‘In-Fucking-Appropriate. He's still Obi-Wan. Yes, he's pretty. But he's still Obi-Wan.’ _

He tells himself that he's just worried about his master, nothing more, as he pulls the blankets closer around Obi-Wan, placing the book so gently on the bedside table that it hardly makes a sound. 

Obi-Wan stirs anyway. 

“ _ Ahh- _ ankin? S’that you?” His eyes aren't even halfway open as his arm reaches out for Anakin, a cool hand grasping at his wrist.

“Yeah, Obi. It’s me”

Obi-Wan makes an aggravated sound. “M’cold. C’mere.”

So Anakin willingly yanks his boots off and climbs into bed next to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan settles against anakin’s side, and is asleep in moments. Anakin, for once, isn’t feeling so tired he could sleep for six years, and so he grabs the data pad containing Obi-Wan’s records with the arm not pinned down by the boy himself and unlocks it with the code Mace had given him.

And….well.

He _ tries _ to release his anger into the Force. He really does. He can feel Obi-Wan sitting against him, shifting around like he's having a bad dream, he can  _ feel  _ the energy of the room darkening, he can feel his blood pumping in his veins because it’s a good fucking thing Qui-Gon jinn is dead otherwise anakin would kill him himself.

Also he is  _ going  _ to find out who this Brock character is and  _ personally kick his ass. _

On the other hand though, the records are...enlightening, to say the least. 

He hadn't expected he and Obi-Wan to have had so much...in common.

He has to choke down a laugh, remembering all the times Obi-Wan had reprimanded him for fighting, seeing as how Obi-Wan has no less than thirteen infractions listing as ‘altercation with fellow student.’

Obi-Wan is a master of many things, and apparently one of them is  _ talking out of his ass.  _

_ ‘Not, like, literally, or anything. It's a metaphor. It’s a bad one, but it's a metaphor.’ _

Its also a little irritating to read all these things, because of fucking course Obi-Wan is top of all his classes, despite he and Qui-Gon having had a truly staggering amount of missions to their collective name. Anakin is honestly a little bit disgusted with it all.  _ ‘Just be bad at something, ugh.’ _

But he sobers when he realizes something - he was probably just trying to get some level of recognition from Qui-Gon. He has all his beads at nineteen, for fuck’s sake.

Anakin sighs, locks the datapad, and puts it back down on the bedside table. Reading through that thing is just giving him a migraine, and after flicking through so many emotions so quickly, he is feeling tired now. 

He settles back into Obi-Wan, and falls asleep.

_ He is running. _

_ He is running even though his leg feels like it’s going to fall off if he keeps going, but he keeps running, because if he stops, he knows that he’ll be found. Losing a leg would be preferable to being found. _

_ He can’t find his master, he can’t find their ship, he can't find anything, not even his breath - it feels like it’s being snatched from his lungs before it’s even there. It's just this endless forest, with roots to trip him and animals to attack him - although he’d rather be eaten than toyed with some more. _

_ His wrists ache from the manacles they had forced on him, the back of his head is bleeding, he can tell he’s lost a lot of blood, but if he stops he knows he’s going to die. _

_ Something grabs his arm, pulls him around, and he can see one of their faces again and their knife - they’re using knives, dirty, rusty knives - glints in the moonlight, and - _

And Obi-Wan wakes up screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also game of thrones gave me a lot of feelings and I've been writing some other things that have caught my fancy. this is sooooooo short, I'm sorry


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Because I can't sleep, okay!”  
> “You were sleeping three seconds ago!”  
> “Yeah well, now I'm not!”  
> “Obi-Wan, calm down!”  
> “Don't tell me to calm down!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup fam I'm not dead and I didn't forget this. Motivation is hard. Focus is hard. Writing is...hard.
> 
> Also I changed the fic summary. Idk I just didn't like the old one.

Anakin is up like a shot, grabbing both of Obi-Wan’s wrists so that he isn't hit by any flailing limbs.

  
“Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! You're safe!”

Obi-Wan was on his feet and out of the room before Anakin could even process having let go of him. Anakin groaned, and followed. 

“Obi-Wan, what are you doing?!”

“Leaving!” He was trying to yank his boots on, but they were, in reality, Anakin’s boots, so it wasn't going well. 

“Why?”

“Because I can't sleep, okay!”

“You were sleeping three seconds ago!”

“Yeah well, now I'm not!”

“Obi-Wan, calm down!”

“Don't tell me to calm down!”

“Obi-Wan please!”

“Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up!!”

Anakin took a step back and tried to compose himself. The Force was shaking things in the room ever so slightly, and he wanted to make sure he had control over his emotions before he - except this wasn't him. 

Obi-Wan was making the room shake. 

“You're not even five years older than me! What makes you so important! You're just another stupid knight who thinks he's better than me! Well you're not! I'm not staying here - you can't make me!”

No. No no no no no. That was a terrible course of events; Obi-Wan leaving might mean Obi-Wan running into a significantly older version of someone he knew, and Anakin didn't want to explain that. 

“Obi-Wan, no. You can't leave.” He grabs Obi-Wan by the hand. 

“Why not?! You're not even my real master anyway! Leave me ALONE!” Obi-Wan yanks his hand away, and shoves Anakin to the ground. 

He gets two steps to the door in Anakin’s too-big boots before he collapses on the ground and starts violently sobbing. 

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll be better next time.” He covers his face with his hands. “I'm so sorry.”

Anakin carefully shuffles over to Obi-Wan and curls himself around Obi-Wan’s back. 

“You're sorry? You don't need to be sorry. Everyone has nightmares.”

“I know,” Obi-Wan gasps. “I know. But I'll-I’ll be better next time.”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin starts, confused and with a bad feeling building in his gut. “What do you mean you'll ‘be better?’ There's no good way to have a nightmare.”

“I shouldn't have woken you up, I'm sorry. I won't next time, you shouldn't have had to see that.” He takes a gulping breath. “You won't next time.”

“Next time?” He pulls himself around to Obi-Wan’s face. “Does this happen a lot?” Obi-Wan shoves his hands harder into his eyes. Anakin gently puts his hands on Obi-Wan’s wrists, barely touching him. Obi-Wan lets his hands fall. Obi-Wan nods.

“Is that...is that what happened? Is that how you got hurt?”

Obi-Wan nods again, pathetically, and Anakin wants to wrap him in a hug and never let go. “Shhhhh, you don't need to talk if you don't want to. Do you want to just go back to bed? We can go back to bed.”

Obi-Wan nods. 

Anakin doesn't let him go as he guides him towards the Master’s room. The bed is bigger and more comfortable. 

“I know it doesn't really help out when your mind is convinced otherwise, but you are safe here, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan responds by curling tightly around Anakin. 

Anakin pets his hair. It would be too dangerous to lower his shields enough to let Obi-Wan slip under - too much risk of Obi-Wan seeing Anakin's memories of his Obi-Wan - like Obi-Wan used to do for Anakin. Regardless of how much Anakin's psyche is chanting protect protect protect.   
And Sith-spit doesn't this feel weird? Having their positions entirely reversed like this, and everything. It feels unnatural, almost, having someone curled up against him, rather than the other way around. Ashoka had been too old for this when they had paired up, and even then she was way more independent than Anakin ever had been. Aside from this, Anakin really has no point of reference for how reserved Obi-Wan was as a kid, but something in Anakin's gut tells him this is an outlier in terms of clingy behavior.   
Which is...worrying, in its own part, to say the least. How had Obi-Wan - in the space of five or six year’s time - gone so completely backwards? It seemed pretty clear that Qui-Gon wasn't one to comfort after nightmares, and someone not being angry at an episode seemed like a foreign concept to Obi-Wan - which, of course, doesn’t make Anakin want to smash his fist into a wall or anything like that, no, not at all - and Anakin doesn't really feel equipped to handle this situation. 

But then, when has that feeling ever stopped him? Podracing at nine? What a fucking idiot. 

Obi-Wan huffs in his sleep, nuzzling closer to Anakin. Anakin smiles. It's just that the action is so - so, well, human. He'd thought a lot, growing up, that Obi-Wan was some sort of hyper-advanced droid. He'd had a dream once, of fixing Obi-Wan’s servers for him. Make him less of a pompous ass. 

But no. Obi-Wan was human, definitely. A god among men, or something, probably, but one-hundred percent human. Droids didn't bleed or cry or grunt messily in their sleep or curse quietly when their drink was too hot. Obi-Wan did. That's part of why Anakin loves him. That's what's making this whole thing an exercise in patience and self-control. 

Because he did love Obi-Wan the machine. Maybe, in the beginning, a little out of necessity, but it has blossomed into more. Obi-Wan the machine - who never seemed to sleep and could type out reports faster than Anakin could read them and sometimes levitated things around him unknowingly while meditating and talked like he was programmed to know exactly what to say (to everyone but Anakin) - Anakin knew. Obi-Wan the fragile human teenager who seemed like he might crack under the slightest pressure to his foundation? Not so much. 

Another sleepy grunt. “Stop thinking so sithing much. Some of us are trying to sleep.” Quiet snoring, then nothing but breathing. 

Anakin stifles off a snort. Obi-Wan the fragile human teenager who seemed to be a smartass regardless of age is definitely more something Anakin can reconcile Obi-Wan the sass machine with. 

He can do this. Really. 

As he falls asleep, it doesn't completely feel like a lie anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter feels so short, I'm starting on chapter eleven when things like PLOT and INTRIGUE and HUMOR will start, but I couldn't figure out a good way to do that in this one. 
> 
> Prepare yourselves for MINOR TIMESKIPS and TRAINING MONTAGES and ANAKIN BADHING HIS HEAD IN A WALL


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES IM POSTING TWICE IN ONE DAY. PLEASE DONT EXPECT THIS.  
> i spent literally this whole day in bed writing because it snowed where i live and the new semester hasnt started yet so yeah. after no updates for literal months, i figured you guys deserve to come back to two chapters.

Once Obi-Wan is better, Anakin breaks. It's been two weeks and even Anakin is itching for a friendly brawl. He reserves a private saber training room for them both, and takes all the back ways there. He takes the precaution of comming Windu so if need be he can run interference. See, Windu? Anakin can plan stuff. This isn't going to become a normal thing but he can do it.

The saber that this Obi-Wan would be used to is not Anakin's Obi-Wan’s saber, so Anakin insists on training sabers only. Anakin's stomach goes a little funny when Obi-Wan makes that face where he wants to ask something, but nothing happens. Anakin shakes himself a little. He's going to ask for his lightsaber sooner or later, but Obi-Wan is not going to like the answer.

‘Oh yeah, the one you're used to? Yeah, fell down a huge thing while you were fight Darth Maul. Who's Darth Maul? Oh, just the Sith Lord who killed Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon is dead? Yeah, for about fourteen years now. By the way you are technically in the future! Yay! Yes, I did mention a Sith Lord; we've got a lot of them running around right now. Actually? Whole galaxy’s at war! And we're both generals! Yep, both of us. Also, surprise! I was you padawan!’

Yeah. That'll go over well.

Anakin slips into his now-normal Form V stance, ready for Obi-Wan’s Form III. Much to Anakin's surprise, Obi-Wan slides easily into a Form IV stance. Anakin can only remember Obi-Wan using Form IV when he taught it to Anakin.

“Begin.”

Anakin had planned on going easy on Obi-Wan. He really, truly was going to. Anakin is a Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan is still a Padawan.

Obi-Wan disarms him in five quick moves.

_‘Sith-spit.’_

Okay, so, no more Master Nice Jedi. Anakin goes in quick, dodges under Obi-Wan’s defenses.

Obi-Wan feints to one side, grabs Anakin's leg, and pulls. Anakin loses his balance and falls right on his face, smashing his nose against the mat.

Round two to Obi-Wan.

Anakin ignores the outstretched hand, getting up himself, disgruntled and annoyed.

Anakin decides to wait him out. One of them has to attack eventually, right?

“Is this the part where you negotiate your surrender?” Obi-Wan asks cheekily. “Because if not we are at an impasse.”

“No, I'm waiting you out,” Anakin responds, definitely not pouting.

“Get settled then. I'm training under Qui-Gon Jinn. Eternal patience is a basic survival skill.”

Anakin snorts - same goes for having trained Anakin - and, in that small moment of distraction, Obi-Wan darts in quick as a whip and slams his training saber against Anakin's ribs.

“Ah, fuck!” Anakin yells.

Round three to Obi-Wan.

“Ready for round four, old man?” Again, that stupid hand hangs in front of Anakin's face, taunting.

“I am three years older than you.”

“Funny, with the speed of your reflexes I was worried I might have to tell Master Yoda his position as oldest member of the Order was being threatened.”

Anakin wants to grab the little punk by his braid and wipe that smirk off his face. “Round four. Right now.”

He jumps to his feet, flipping over Obi-Wan and going for his exposed back.

But Obi-Wan is too quick. He ducks under and - predictably - goes for Anakin's legs.

Anakin jumps back out of reach, and twirls to get under Obi-Wan’s guard. (When he was still a Padawan, as soon as he was taller than Obi-Wan, he had tried to get _over_ the man's guard, only to be soundly trounced and reminded that Qui-Gon had been even taller than Anakin was, _thank you very much_ , and the old man had tried that trick more than enough for Obi-Wan to be immune.) He almost manages a slap to the leg, but Obi-Wan slips into _Anakin's_ guard, pulling himself out of reach of the blade on the _handle’s_ end.

Anakin, thoroughly surprised, stumbles back, only to be caught by the wrist and yanked forward as Obi-Wan sidesteps him.

Anakin catches himself, rolling on his shoulders back into a standing position, taking a stance once more. “That the best you got?” He taunts.

Obi-Wan snorts. “Hardly.”

The fight continues on like that for what feels like an hour, at least, neither of them gaining ground, but neither of them losing it, either.

Obi-Wan is a sly little bastard, using his smaller stature to his advantage, navigating his way under and around Anakin’s limbs - even, at one point, sliding himself under Anakin's spread legs, which, _what the actual and entire fuck, Obi-Wan?_ \- and using his body to fight as much as his saber, yanking and pushing and body-checking Anakin where he wants him.

Anakin darts away for a reprieve, panting and sweaty. Obi-Wan is in the same state, but with that damn cheeky smirk still there.

_‘Oh fuck no.’_

The little brat is _playing with him._

Anakin doesn't hold back. He's physically stronger than this Obi-Wan, if nothing else.  He's managed to beat his Obi-Wan a more than a few times, though never enough for that whole ‘student surpasses the master’ thing. He and Obi-Wan are equals, a matched set. A team.

Anakin tries to clear his mind. This Obi-Wan can't be that good yet. Anakin should be able to beat a 19 year old.

As the fight goes on, it occurs to Anakin that no, actually. Maybe he can't beat a 19 year old. Not this one, anyway.

Fuck.

Because while Obi-Wan is breaking a sweat, he doesn't really seem to be trying that hard. It's not that he's _great_ at saber combat, it's just that he's _good enough_ to block all of Anakin's attacks, and he's doing that thing that always made Anakin so angry while he was training. He's not attacking, he's just waiting for Anakin to make a big enough mistake.

Anakin _growls,_ grabbing Obi-Wan around the waist and tossing him across the room.

Obi-Wan slams into the wall with a harsh sounding _thud._ Anakin stomps over and shoves the point of his training saber just over Obi-Wan’s throat.

Obi-Wan, much to Anakin's surprise, laughs. “That was incredible! I haven't gotten anyone to really _fight me_ in so long!”

Anakin drops next to him, tired. “Then why did you keep beating me so quickly.”

Obi-Wan hums. “You are...overconfident. You underestimated me. You think too much with your biceps and not enough with your head.” He looks over at Anakin sheepishly. “When you're fighting, anyway. And you expected me to fight like you. I won't. I know I'm not as strong or tall as you are; I'm going to fight differently, use my body differently. Even Qui-Gon, who's taller than you, doesn't fight like you. And you were impatient. You didn't wait, try to figure me out; how I might attack, where my openings were. You just powered in. And if you have the element of surprise, that might work. But I was expecting an attack, so that advantage is lost. I must admit, however, that the last move you did was unexpected. Is it normal for you to hurl our opponents around?”

Anakin knows Obi-Wan expects an answer. Anakin can't give him one. He's floored. Even at force-damned 19, Obi-Wan is still teaching him a lesson. Because all that stuff? True. It's true, now that Anakin hears it. So he just sort of grunts neutrally.

“Maybe next time I'll wipe the floor with you without doing that. C’mon, I'm starved.”

They go back to their room, and Anakin starts on some lunch for the both of them. Obi-Wan excuses himself for a shower.

While lunch is in the oven, Anakin sits back on the couch, pulling Obi-Wan’s progress datapad into his lap to read again. There didn't seem to be any notes about extraordinary saber combs skills.

Anakin grits his teeth. Qui-Gon was just really bad at filling this stuff out, wasn't he?

Shower done, Obi-Wan sits down next to Anakin with a datapad of his own.

“What are you reading?” Anakin asks.

Obi-Wan hesitates. “Your plant book was much more interesting than I had originally assumed.”

Anakin laughs, but no cruelly. “I'm glad you like it, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan offers a shy smile, which Anakin returns. They sit in silence for a while, not needing to speak. Obi-Wan sets his datapad down at one point to go get a pair of socks for his cold feet, and Anakin gets up soon after to check on lunch.

He gets everything divided up on to two plates for them and hears Obi-Wan sit back on the couch. He sets the table himself, deciding to let Obi-Wan take a load off. Once this is finished he calls Obi-Wan for lunch.

Obi-Wan saunters - there's no other word for it, there's a knowing smirk and a skip in his step like he's trying not to laugh - into the room, datapad in hand.

“Not at the table,” Anakin tells him, immediately ageing himself twenty years.

Obi-Wan walks over to Anakin, sets the datapad in front of him, and leans close to Anakin's face _still smirking._

“So,” Obi-Wan starts, in that tone that always says Anakin is well and truly fucked.

Anakin turns his head toward the datapad, mouth open in horror, an inkling as to what might have happened beginning in his mind.

“Youngest member of the council in over two-thousand years, huh?”

_Sith-spit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this one is longer??? but i have no idea. it feels longer. maybe im just a short chapter person.
> 
> ps writing fight scenes is really heckin hard


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and, oh by the way, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there readers its me ya girl  
> spring break yall  
> (its 1am and im tired)

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck and, oh by the way, fuck. 

Anakin is the biggest idiot in the history of the whole galaxy. 

Firstly, he shouldn't have been reading the damn thing anywhere near Obi-Wan. Secondly, he shouldn't have left it there. Thirdly, he shouldn't have left it there  _ un-fucking-locked.  _

He sends a thankful thought to Windu for censoring the records, so he doesn't have to deal with the emotional upheaval of Qui-Gon dying. 

“So…..surprise?”

Obi-Wan’s smirk quickly turns into an accusatory frown. “Were you ever planning on telling me, or was the idea to keep me isolated and useless until you could change me back? I'm not some incompetent youngling. I'm practically a Knight now.”

“Uh,” Anakin flounders, “that was up for the council to decide!”

Obi-Wan sinks down into the chair across from Anakin, and begins to pick at his food. “In all honestly, I am completely shocked that you listen to the council at all.”

“What do you mean?”

“Masters always get Padawans that are like their Masters. Since Qui-Gon’s a bit of a renegade, I expect you're the same.”

Anakin blushes, scratching the back of his neck. “Well...you aren't wrong?”

Obi-Wan snorts. “So, Anakin. Technically,  _ you _ were  _ my  _ Padawan _.” _

“I almost don't want to ask where you're going with this?”

“Did I do such a bad job that you can't even beat a 19 year old?”

Anakin throws some food at him. “Oh, fuck off!”

Obi-Wan laughs, catching the food with the Force - not even lifting a hand to do so,  _ damn him _ \- and throwing it back at Anakin. “So, tell me about old me. Am I a stuffy old man?” He grimaces. “I have to be if I’m on the Council. They all hate me now.”

“You’re really fucking annoying, is what you are,” Anakin responds.

Obi-Wan smirks at him again. “Did my job right, then.”

Anakin’s comm chirps with a call. Anakin reaches for it, but Obi-Wan already has it in his hand. The little brat had used the Force to grab it.

Anakin has a  _ really  _ bad feeling about this.

“Skywalker-” Mace Windu starts.

“Nope, actually,” Obi-Wan says, much to cheerfully. “Hi Mace! It’s me, Obi-Wan! Any progress on getting me not-19?”

Even from who-knows-how-far across the temple, Anakin can feel Mace tensing up.

“Bad form, Windu, really. Putting all of that on a datapad that  _ anyone  _ could have picked up?”

A long, deep sigh sounds across the comm. “You and Skywalker meet me in the Council chambers.”

“Cool!” Obi-Wan says, stomach tense, trying not to laugh. “I’ll get to see which chair is mine!”

Another sigh. “Skywalker, you are a dead man.”

“Don’t talk to my apprentice that way, Mace!”

“I haven’t been your apprentice for four years!” Anakin shouts.

Obi-Wan shrugs casually. “Oh, fight me. We’ll be right there.” He hangs up the call and places the comm on the table, brow furrowing in a moment as his mind wraps around something.

He looks up at Anakin, his eyes indecipherable. “Wait...you’re 23, right?”

“Yeah,” Anakin says, going out to the entryway to pull his boots back on.

Obi-Wan trails after him. “And you were knighted four years ago?”

“Yep.”

“So you would have been 19?”

“Yeah, I wa-” Anakin stops short.  _ ‘Fuck.’ _ “Obi-Wan, listen-”

“No, it’s nothing. It’s not your fault Qui-Gon can't find any redeeming qualities in me.” His voice is sullen. “How much kriffing longer do I have to wait?”

Anakin swallows. “Classified.”

“Fuckin’ great,” Obi-Wan says, and Anakin nearly brains himself on the door jam upon hearing Obi-Wan curse. 

Anakin stops right outside the door, and lets Obi-Wan walk right into his arms. He nuzzles his cheek against Obi-Wan’s spiky hair. 

Much to Anakin's surprise, Obi-Wan shoves him away with a gruff, “get off of me.”

Anakin releases him. “What? You were fine with hugs yesterday!” He tries not to sound like a pouting child. 

“Yeah, yesterday you were my temporary roommate slash substitute master.”

“And?” Anakin insists, now in a bad mood, jabbing the lift button harder than strictly necessary. 

“ _ And  _ today I'm your former master who's temporarily been...demoted, in a sense.”

_ “And?” _ Anakin presses, crossing his arms, definitely  _ not  _ sulking. 

“And that's not how it works! You're supposed to teach your padawan about how the galaxy works, not smother them!” Obi-Wan huffs, placing his hands in the arms of his robe, his posture perfect enough to make saber-master’s cry tears of joy. “You're being so - so - so  _ uncivilized!” _

Anakin can't help it. Really, he can't. It's physically impossible for him not to laugh at that. He might break a rib or something if he doesn't. 

Obi-Wan wheels on, clearly now in a very bad mood. “What?!”

“You sound just like him! I'm sorry!”

Obi-Wan huffs again. “Well, I  _ am  _ him, so I would hope so.”

He hasn't reached the point of pinching the bridge of his nose yet, but it's a close thing. Anakin can tell. He has finely tuned the art of irritating Obi-Wan. His being-a-shit-o-meter can turn up half a degree and than Obi-Wan will pinch his nose. 

“You want me to start calling you master?”

Obi-Wan looks at him, eyebrow raised, unimpressed. “Sure. Why not. If I had to put up with  _ this  _ -” he waves a hand dismissively at Anakin “- for multiple years, I've damn well earned it.”

Anakin huffs. “I was a delight.”

“No.”

Anakin uncrosses his arms, grabbing Obi-Wan by the shoulders. “Are you getting your memories back?”

Obi-Wan’s face goes a little blank. “...yes. I think that the Force...is trying - trying to tell me something.”

Anakin definitely isn't bouncing excitedly. “What is it??”

“It's...just out of reach….There it is!” Obi-Wan grabs Anakin's arms. 

“What is it?” Anakin asks, shaking Obi-Wan a little. “What did the Force tell you?!”

“The Force told me...that you…”

“Me?!”

“You are…”

“I'm what??”

“That you are…real fucking annoying.” Obi-Wan opens his eyes, smirking. 

Anakin scoffs. “You're an ass, you know that?”

“I have been made aware of that multiple times, as it happens.”

Something Obi-Wan said earlier floats through Anakin’s mind. 

_ I'm told that ‘myself’ is generally combative and unpleasant. I have been told, many times in fact, that I should not be myself. _

“It's okay,” he quickly reassures. “People who aren't kind of assholes are boring.”

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow. 

“You know, just add the beard, grow the hair a little, and you'd look exactly the same as old you.”

Obi-Wan makes a disgusted face. “By all that is good and holy, why would I  _ ever  _ grow a beard?”

Anakin shrugs. “Never asked. Once he gets back, I'll get on that.”

“He?”

“Well, you, I guess.”

Obi-Wan hugs his arms around himself, uncomfortable. “Is this...odd, to you? I can go stay with someone else if this makes you uncomfortable.”

Anakin - remember how Obi-Wan had shoved him away earlier - slowly lays his flesh hand across Obi-Wan’s neck. “No, Obi-Wan, not at all. I mean, it's a little weird, but honestly this is  _ not  _ the weirdest thing that's happened to us. You're here. You're safe. That's all I care about.”

Obi-Wan glances at him, pink coloring the tops of his cheekbones. “Thank you, Anakin.”

“You want to know my theory?” Anakin asks, mostly to fill the time in the lift. 

“Hmmm?”

“On the beard.”

“Oh, of course.”

“You didn't start growing it until I was taller than you, so that might have something to do with it.”

Obi-Wan scoffs. “You know, I am actually above average height. It's not my fault that I constantly get surrounded by  _ giants.” _

Anakin has to laugh at that one. “I’m not as tall as Qui-Gon.” At least, he thinks he's not. 

“Where is he anyway?”

Shit shit shit. Abort mission. 

“Mission! Like I said!” Anakin says, much too quickly. “Remember?”

Obi-Wan opens his mouth again, but the lift doors ding open, and Anakin is saved. 

Obi-Wan nods to the guard, and Anakin gives him a thumbs up. 

He can't see the guard’s face through the mask, but Anakin knows enough about his own reputation to guess that the guard rolled his eyes. 

He grabs Obi-Wan by the elbow before they go in completely. 

“That's not a very nice thing to do to your Master, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, all snark. 

“Listen, Obi-Wan. Don't...make a fool of yourself. Don't be too snarky, or disrespectful. Remember that you have your later self to think about.”

Just saying all that makes Anakin feel about fourteen bajillion years old, but hopefully Old-bi-Wan will thank him for it when he gets back. 

When. Not if. 

Obi-Wan pulls his arm out of Anakin's grasp. “I'm not a completely incompetent failure, you know. I do know how to behave myself.”

“I know!” Anakin says hurriedly. “But I just wanted to remind you.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. Anakin mentally apologizes to his Master. 

The man must have been a saint, if Anakin was anything like this. And, realistically, Anakin was way worse than this. 

He sighs. 

Obi-Wan opens the door, and walks in ahead of Anakin. Anakin adjusts his robes, and walks in behind. 

Obi-Wan drops into a deep, respectful bow. “Masters.”

Yoda nods his head in return. “Good to see you, it is, Young Obi-Wan.”

“Much younger than I'm sure you were expecting,” Obi-Wan replies, straightening with a slight, charming smile. 

Yet another example of the latent ‘Negotiator-Ness’ that Obi-Wan has, even at this age. He's just so  _ charming.  _

“Skywalker,” Mace addresses him, and Anakin quickly tries to mentally decide if dragging the old master out of bed to bother him all those weeks ago was worth it. Windu is the time to extract a slow revenge, Jedi morals be damned. 

He remembers the face Windu had made in the library and yeah, worth it. 

“Yes, Master Windu?”

“We have a few questions for Obi-Wan, if you wouldn't mind giving us some privacy.”

Anakin bristles a little. He hasn't been made to wait outside like a Youngling since he was 11. He doesn't pout though, because he's a Jedi Knight and a General, and such behavior is unbecoming of one such as himself. 

Holy shit. If Obi-Wan still had access to his head, Anakin might think  _ he  _ thought that. Maybe Anakin just misses his Master, which is probable. 

With only Ahsoka to tease him, they run the risk of his ego getting too big. 

Anakin bows respectfully, and walks out the door with a final glance at Obi-Wan. 

It's only because Anakin knows his face so well that he sees the fear there. 

Anakin turns his back to the guard once he exits the room, standing contemplatively in front of a large window. Careful to keep his posture correct, he brings his flesh hand up the his chin - like Obi-Wan does sometimes - and sticks the tip of his tongue in between his teeth. 

It's an old nervous habit. When he had been much younger, it had been the thumb. Once his padawan braid was long enough to stick in his mouth, he worried at the end of it. Braid now gone with his knighthood, he's reverted back to the thumb. He has to be careful that it be his flesh hand; he accidentally worried through a glove once. 

Slowly, he works his way over his whole hand, sticking the edge of his fingernails one at a time over his bottom row of teeth, switching fingers when it starts to hurt. He's eyeing his gloved hand when Obi-Wan finally walks out. 

Obi-Wan has his jaw clenched tight, his posture rigid and perfect. 

Fuck. That's about how he had looked through the entirety of the celebration on Naboo over ten years ago. Back then, Anakin had just thought Obi-Wan had a stick up his ass (and he wasn't completely wrong). Now, Anakin knows better. 

“Obi-Wan, there you are. Are you ready to go?” He nods his head towards the lift. Obi-Wan nods back. “Let’s go.”

Anakin walks into it first and presses the button for their floor. “Soooooo,” he starts. “Gonna tell me what happened in there? Got any hot gossip?”

“No.”

Anakin groans internally. Taciturn Obi-Wan is the  _ worst  _ Obi-Wan. “C’mon, Obi-Wan. You and I tell each other everything! We're best friends!”

Obi-Wan turns on him, shoving Anakin away. “No we are not! I barely have any idea who you are! You have ten years of memories of me! Not even me! Me that I'll be in six years! And I don't know you at all! You don't know me, and I don't know you! Stop acting like we're a perfect team! Ugh!”

Obi-Wan punches himself in the side of the leg as he screams through clenched teeth. 

“We are, though-” Anakin tries to start. 

“If we were it was only ever because of our training bond,” Obi-Wan scoffs. “Force knows that's the only reason Qui-Gon and I can get along at all.”

Anakin shoves down his own discomfort at that idea. “No. You don't understand, Obi-Wan.”

“No, I don't think you-”

“Obi-Wan please. Just. Listen to me.”

Obi-Wan crosses his arms, clearly annoyed. He makes a huffy, ‘get on with it,’ gesture with his hand. 

“The Force sings when we're together. We aren't perfect together, and that's our strength. I don't think you're perfect, and I are as Hell aren't. But we fill in each other's cracks. It's not some forcing together of rough edges. We're puzzle pieces together, Obi-Wan. It's not just a training bond. I have one with Ahsoka, and it's nothing like what we got. She and I work well together. But you and I? We're different. So what if you aren't the Obi-Wan you'll be in twentyish years? We worked ourselves together before. I'm willing to do it again if you are.”

Obi-Wan swallows, jaw still clenched. When he speaks, his voice wobbles. 

“They...they don't know if they'll be able to change me back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is now 45 pages long in my single spaced doc  
> just fyi  
> ya'll've read 45 pages of this nonsense. thank you <3


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin spends his time sitting with his back against the door, reading back over Obi-Wan’s file, trying to figure out some way to get through to him. He talks out loud sometimes, trying to get Obi-Wan to engage with him.
> 
> The problem is that Anakin isn't sure what to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont call it a comeback, ive been here for almost a year putting this ficgently and lovingly to the side while i be productive and try not to fail my classes (the first and hopefully last time i ever make an LL Cool J reference [the song is 'mama said knock you out' {maybe??? im bad at names} if youre interested])  
> lots of things are happening, i still love this fic and all of you, i just also do 214097 other things and i thank you all for your patience in this trying time of generally being alive  
> (also sometimes i randomly loose interest in star wars and go write other things oops)

Obi-Wan shuts himself in his room for three days. The food Anakin leaves outside the door goes uneaten. Anakin spends his time sitting with his back against the door, reading back over Obi-Wan’s file, trying to figure out some way to get through to him. He talks out loud sometimes, trying to get Obi-Wan to engage with him. 

The problem is that Anakin isn't sure what to talk  _ about.  _

He's not sure about enough of Obi-Wan’s past to try and prompt him to that, and trying to talk about their shared past/future doesn't seems like a good idea. 

So Anakin talks about the books he'd read in his classes at 19, he talks about the books that he had swiped from Obi-Wan to read, he talks about the different debates they've had about the Code, he talks about Padme, he talks about the weirdest of the dreams he's had. He talks about how the bend of the wall and floor isn't comfortable at all. 

Obi-Wan doesn't talk back. 

As the sun is rising on the fourth day of Obi-Wan’s self-imposed solitude, the door opens. Anakin scrambles up from his place on the floor, and looks at Obi-Wan’s face. This is a face Anakin is used to, unfortunately. This face throws Anakin back to being 10 standard, shying away from any discussion of Qui-Gon or Naboo. This face is the hardened shell that Anakin hasn't cared to do anything about until he was 14 standard and realized that in the five years of his apprenticeship, he'd never seen his Master smile. 

“Well, if I'm stuck like this,” Obi-Wan says, voice carefully controlled, “I might as well be useful. What is it we normally do?”

Anakin swallows. “At this time? Eat breakfast.”

Obi-Wan doesn't seem satisfied with that as an answer, but he dutifully follow Anakin to the kitchenette anyway. 

Gone is the teasing, smirking teenager from just a few days ago, and in his place Anakin is left with an Obi-Wan with hollow eyes. 

They eat breakfast in silence. After they finish, Anakin washed the dishes and Obi-Wan stares at the wall. Thankfully, before the silence can becomes any more unbearable, Anakin's comm beeps with a written message. 

_ Mission assignment: Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and Knight Anakin Skywalker are the most qualified pair: _

_ Conflict mediation _

_ Possible undercover/stealth _

_ Command of troops _

_ Diplomatic relations _

_ Madolorian fluency _

_ Please respond ASAP _

Anakin groans, slamming his hands down on the counter and letting his hair fall over his face. 

“What's wrong?” Obi-Wan asks quietly. 

“Don't worry about it,” Anakin says on reflex, dialing up Mace’s number - because Mace is the council member he enjoys inconveniencing the most - and waits as it rings. “Mace, the computer fucked up. It tried to give me a mission.”

“Skywalker, what's the problem? Obi-Wan is 19, not 9. He can take care of himself better than you could at that age.”

Anakin huffs, frowning. “Be that as it may, I don't speak Mandolorian.”

“I do,” Obi-Wan says from his spot at the table. “While I'm here, I might as well be as useful as I can. I may not be as good as my - myself? - as I will be, but I'm still competent enough to keep up with Qui-Gon.”

“Obi-Wan-”

“Sounds great,” Mace interrupts, “you two can report to the hanger at 0700 hours tomorrow morning.”

“Mace,” Anakin says, not at all a morning person and only kind of joking, “why do you hate me?”

“Hate is against the Jedi Code, Skywalker,” Mace answers, a smirk clear in his voice, right before he ends the call, just so he can have the last word,  _ that fucker.  _

Obi-Wan walks to his room silently - really, even when he walks there's barely a noise of his footsteps - and comes back out a few minutes later with a small bag, which he places by the door, before walking back over to Anakin. 

“I'm going to need a real saber.”

Anakin swallows. He hadn't wanted to get to this part, but he reluctantly walks back to the once-used Master’s room. He'd dumped most of his stuff there that first day, and opens the drawer he had stashed Obi-Wan’s lightsaber in. He walks it back out to the teenager, and hands it to him the way he normally would. 

As the padawan, the learner, or the lesser in seniority of the pair, Anakin would hand the saber to Obi-Wan with the open end facing towards himself, as a sign of trust and respect. Sort of a, ‘hey, here's your lightsaber, I'm gonna trust you on this one not to stab me,’ sort of thing. After Anakin had been knighted, there had been a short period of time before Obi-Wan’s Master rank had gotten approved when Anakin and Obi-Wan had both been in the temple systems with ‘Knight’ as the rank. The first time Obi-Wan had handed Anakin his saber with the blade facing himself, Anakin had just about cried. 

The present Obi-Wan has a face of surprise akin to the then-Obi-Wan’s when Anakin had launched himself at him. 

The teenager carefully lifts the saber out of Anakin's hand. 

“So is this his? The older me? Did he make it?”

“Yeah,” Anakin says, choosing his words carefully. “Right after you got knighted.”

“He got knighted. I'm trying not to think of myself as him, it's too odd.”

Anakin nods, carefully placing a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder the same way his Master had done to him a millions times. 

“You wanna test it out real quick? We can run down to the training rooms and you can get familiar. I can call Ahsoka and she can watch you kick my ass again.”

Obi-Wan looks conflicted. “I don't want to spar you again, but I would like to get used to this one. It looks different than mine. Why did he make a new one? That's not normally something you do for knighthood. I already made mine.”

“He lost it,” Anakin says, trying as hard as he can to stay close to the truth, but not too close - because, well, yikes - in case he fucks up. “The mission right before he was knighted.”

“Stupid of him.”

“He was always lecturing me about using mine.”

Obi-Wan hesitates, staring down at the handle. “So I become an old irritating bastard?”

Anakin forces his smile to stay, and doesn't pull Obi-Wan into his arms like he wants to - being able to hold Obi-Wan is something he got used to much too quickly. “A little bit, but you're what I needed. I think I would have actually died if I had been made Mace’s Padawan. Or Yoda’s, Force-forbid.”

Obi-Wan - who would normally snort (or scold) at the dig at Mace - looks at Anakin with a confused expression on his face, and for a second Anakin tries to think if he's mentioned anything about Qui-Gon that might blow his cover - like, the whole dying thing. Obi-Wan finding out about that would not be ideal. Especially since Anakin can barely keep a handle on his  _ own  _ emotions sometimes, let alone a 19-year-old’s emotions. Anakin quickly turns him around and starts to lead him down the hall towards the private training room they had taken up - was it really just a few days ago? It feels longer. 

Anakin sits against the wall - again, this is terrible for his back - and watches as Obi-Wan familiarizes himself with the blade. 

He has an almost eerie amount of control over his own body. Anakin is sure it isn't just a ‘whole life in the temple’ sort of thing, because he hasn't seen any other Jedi - except maybe Yoda, but he has so little body to control it hardly matters - who has the same level control over every muscle. 

Obi-Wan walks over to the wall panel, and turns on the blaster ports for reflective practice. 

“Hey,” Anakin calls, “don't you need a code for that?”

“Do you honestly think I hadn't swiped Qui-Gon’s years ago? I've known that code since I was thirteen.”

“That womp rat bastard,” Anakin drawls, smiling a little. All this time and Obi-Wan had been a secret sneaky asshole all along. Anakin hadn't thought that instead of growing a personality as Anakin grew up, Obi-Wan was just getting more comfortable with his old personality. 

Anakin just  _ really  _ fucking hopes Satine won't be there to fuck everything up. That would be  _ super bad _ because, among other reasons, Satine really doesn't like Anakin. She thinks - Anakin assumes - that he's too quick with his saber (or blaster, as the case may be), but the joke’s on her, because (he's extremely impulsive) he's just learned by example. Also, having to deal with Obi-Wan if he's acting like a little love-sick puppy would be the worst thing that had ever happened to Anakin ever, including when he got his arm cut off (but not including his time as a slave, or saying goodbye to his mom, or his mom dying, because there are limits).

Obi-Wan had once confessed - after some minor deception on Anakin's part; Anakin had switched to water but kept giving Obi-Wan long swigs from a bottle of Corellian Vodka, thus keeping Anakin mostly sober as Obi-Wan got very,  _ very  _ drunk - that he had had a crush on Satine when he was young, but something had happened - not drunk enough to loosen his tongue on that one, unfortunately - and they had fallen out. The feelings had, on Obi-Wan’s side, at least, ended. She hadn't been his first kiss - Bant had wanted to know what it was like to kiss a humanoid, and Obi-Wan was there and willing - but she  _ had  _ kissed him. 

And Anakin didn't like that. 

A blaster bolt got deflected right near his head - set on minor shock, so it wouldn't have actually done anything if it had hit him, but it's the principle of the thing - which abruptly pulled him out of his thoughts. 

Anakin hops to his feet, ignites his own blade, and stares at Obi-Wan, smirking. “Oh, it's  _ on.” _

Obi-Wan got lost enough in his training that he smirked back at Anakin, unconcerned. 

The most accurate way to describe it would be a dance. They stand on opposite sides of the room, Anakin and Obi-Wan bouncing bolts of energy between each other. Obi-Wan - the asshole who almost definitely went easy on Anakin his whole life - manages to flick his saber just enough to get the bolts to spin slightly, making it harder for Anakin to catch them completely with his own. At one point, Obi-Wan switches to a reverse-grip with practiced ease and Anakin almost screams. He'd had to work for  _ months  _ on that before he could even  _ try  _ to  _ attempt   _ to teach it to Ahsoka. 

“Is there any fucking form you  _ don't  _ fucking know?” He yells at his opponent. 

“If you know everything you can expect, you can be ready for anything!” Obi-Wan tells back, definitely smirking at Anakin, the little shit. 

“Fuck you!” Anakin yells. 

“I'll pass, thanks,” Obi-Wan replies, reflecting the bolt Anakin had sent careening towards him back at Anakin - who was caught completely off guard by that response, and therefore gets a bolt straight to the thigh, dangerously close to some important equipment. 

He yells and falls over. 

“You're a damn piece of work, you know that, Kenobi?” Anakin says from the floor, letting an affectionate - if somewhat pained - smile spread on his face. 

Obi-Wan flops down next to him. “You're hardly the first person to tell me that.”

Anakin hums. “Probably the first person to like that about you, though.”

Obi-Wan huffs and looks away. “Yes, probably.”

Anakin looks at the ceiling, thigh aching, mind buzzing, and smiles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* pls validate me  
> (it really does help the writing bc i screencap the nice ones and look at them when i feel sad or like i cant write <3<3<3<3)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Excited for Arkania?” Anakin asks, mostly to be annoying, but also because he wants to know that to expect with Satine. “Ready to facilitate trade talks between the locals and some Mandalorians?”

It's just Anakin and Obi-Wan on this ship. Ahsoka wasn't needed this time (so far; given their track record, she's on call). Anakin had set the autopilot for Arkania, and then retreated to the main room, where Obi-Wan was sitting cross-legged, trying to meditate. Boring.

“Excited for Arkania?” Anakin asks, mostly to be annoying, but also because he wants to know that to expect with Satine. “Ready to facilitate trade talks between the locals and some Mandalorians?”

Obi-Wan huffs. “I am always excited to do whatever is required of me in regards to my duty as a Jedi.”

“So…no?”

“Fucking hell.” Obi-Wan drops his head into his hands. “It's been what, twenty years? More? There is...a girl, a woman-”

“Satine, yeah, we've met.”

“We didn't part on the best of terms, last time.” Obi-Wan curls himself into a ball, chin resting on his knees.

“Oh?” Anakin asks, trying to sound like he doesn't want to pry even though he absolutely does.

“She's a pacifist. Almost aggressively so. She and I had a disagreement.”

Anakin says nothing, humming lightly in agreement.

“She and I were fighting...oh, something having to do with the war? Hostages were involved, that I know. She was mad that I went in with my lightsaber and a blaster. I asked her what she expected me to do, ask the villains politely if they would pretty please let the people out? She didn't appreciate the sarcasm. I told her that sometimes violence is an unfortunate necessity. Hell, she had a blaster on her thigh at that exact moment. I'd _seen_ her shoot people that day. But she said that you should try to talk it out first, which, while I agree, there are times when people will not listen to you and you can tell that going in. Such as then. She said that the Jedi were no better than brutes, going in where they didn't belong and pushing people around to show off how special they are.” Obi-Wan slams his fist down on the floor, his shoulders slumped. “As if we ever go anywhere unless requested or peacefully investigating. As if good Jedi haven't died for planets and people they knew nothing about. We don't go looking for fights, but we are ready for them, that's what Master Yan always says. As if she didn't personally send an SOS to the Temple asking for assistance.”

He lets his legs fall to the sides, sliding a hand through his spiky hair.

“Basically, I told her that I didn't give a damn if she was a duchess or even if she was a queen. I had a viable way to save those people with no casualties, so I was going to do it, not wait around and let people die. Was I unnecessarily harsh? Maybe. But it was true. They were threatening to kill hostages unless they got what they wanted. Am I a murderer? I wouldn't say that I am. I killed to defend the lives of others. Is there any other valid reason to anyone of a sound mind?”

“You are, like, nineteen, right?”

Obi-Wan looks at him, confused. “Yes?”

“It's just, at nineteen I was complaining about the Jedi order and doing the whole ‘teenage rebellion’ thing. I mean going in there is exactly what I would have done, but I don't think I would have debated the ethics of it. I think you were right, and I would have gone with my gut.”

“Master Jinn likes to debate these things and I, uh,” Obi-Wan hesitates. “I don't like to lose.”

Anakin thinks back to all their ruthless Sabacc matches. “Trust me, I know.”

Obi-Wan gives him a shy, apologetic smile.

“You gonna be okay with seeing her? You did read the file the Council sent over, about how the war ended and the uh, situation with the Separatists?”

Obi-Wan nods. “I can maintain a businesslike composure. I'm not a child.” His lips begin to curl up into a smile against his will. “Is it true that I am a General?”

“Yep. 212th. Mine’s the 501st. I'm sure Cody will have some type of armor for you when we get there, that worrywart.”

“Cody, CC-2224, leader of Ghost Company, rank: commander. Is that right? I tried to memorize all the files they sent so that I could tell them apart. The pictures of the armor helped.”

“Obi-Wan, you got those files last night.”

“I should know who I'm working with.”

“You got them last night _after dinner.”_

“And?”

“Young man, go take a nap!”

“You can't order me around like that. It's not like you're my _real_ master.”

Anakin glares at him. “Sleep. Now.”

“Actually, disrupting one’s sleep cycle while traveling through systems-”

Anakin crosses the room and pulls Obi-Wan up before tossing him over his shoulder. Obi-Wan squawks, throwing out his fists and accidentally hitting Anakin on the ass.

“Put me down!”

“No.”

He walks right to Obi-Wan’s bunk, dropping him down on the bed and closing the door.

“Don't think I won't come in there and lie down on top of you if you try to get up. Sleep.”

“You know, Anakin? You are really hard to like sometimes.”

Anakin snorts out a laugh from behind the door, and lets himself smile because Obi-Wan can't see. “You know, I think that's the worst thing you've ever said to me.”

“Impossible. I'm loud, opinionated, and obnoxious, and you are clearly irritating and easy to make fun off.”

A laugh bursts through Anakin before he can stop it. “Brat.”

“Oaf.”

***

After a brief interlude with pirates that had involved Anakin completing some truly horrifyingly illegal maneuvers, they arrived on Arkania mostly unscathed. Obi-Wan looked as close to ecstatic as he could without downright cheering when they were able to leave the ship. Anakin tries not to be too offended by this.

“We're supposed to go check in at base before we go meet with the Duchess.”

Obi-Wan catches the look Anakin throws him, unfortunately.

“I'll be fine, Anakin. Trust me. I'm not going to let any personal feelings interfere with this mission. I've grown up, I'm an adult. I can be professional.”

“Of course, Obi-Wan,” Anakin says, keeping his voice neutral. _I think the padawan doth protest too much._ Anakin rubs his temples as they set off, hoping that Obi-Wan is telling the truth.

Cody visibly flinches when he sees Obi-Wan - who does, too be fair, look quite different sans long hair, beard, and the top four inches of his body - but composes himself quickly, snapping to salute and calling him ‘general.’

“At ease, Commander. It's Cody, right?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. I thought I recognized the armor but I wasn't sure.”

Cody picks his helmet up off the ground, trying to hide his grin. “Our numbers are on our armor.”

“But that's not your names,” Obi-Wan says, head tilting adorably to the side, eyebrows scrunching in confusion. “The file they sent said you gave yourselves names - or well, you gave each other names.”

“Oh really, boss?” Another clone asks from their right. “You know who we all are?”

“Well,” Obi-Wan flushes, “I figured that my older-self would, and I'm trying to make this transition easy for everyone.”

Anakin’s palm connects with his forehead. Of _course_ this absolute _nerfherder_ would only be thinking about _other people_ right now.

“Who am I, then?”

Obi-Wan quickly scans his armor, tickling quickly over a set of points that only make sense to him. “Boil? Your description said you had a mustache, but I can't see that right now because of the,” he gestures at his own face. “But I think that's who you are. I'm sorry if it's not.”

Cody snorts.

“I don't have the heart to play with you, kid,” Boil says, removing his helmet.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen slightly when he sees the mustache. He extends a hand anyway. “Nice to meet you.”

“The real question is,” Fives asks, walking over, “does he know the 501st?”

“Fives, Echo, Kix, Tup, and...Rex?” Obi-Wan looks to Anakin for confirmation, a little bit like a puppy looking for a treat.

“That's command, anyhow,” Anakin says, shoving Obi-Wan’s arm affectionately. “Why don't you go meet your crew, I've got to talk with Rex about some unimportant details.”

“I can do it, Anakin.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Anakin can see Fives clench his jaw, trying not to laugh.

“Nah, I got it, Obi.”

“If you call me that again I'm going to cut all of your limbs off and force-feed them to you,” Obi-Wan says, and actually, yikes, Anakin does kind of believe that he would do that.

“Go meet your troops.”

“I'll do whatever the hell I want, Knight Skywalker.”

“For fuck’s sake, you absolute smartass.”

Obi-Wan smirks. “Now Anakin,” he says, in such a startlingly accurate impression of his older self (not that he knows it) that Anakin straightens his back and goes to fix a braid that hasn't been there for almost four years, “is that any way to talk to your Master? I practically raised you, Anakin. I spent the best years of my life on you. You could at least show some gratitude.”

Anakin lets out a noise that is half sigh and half yell, gripping his hair at the roots with both hands. “And I thought you were annoying as an _adult.”_

Fives is definitely laughing this time.

“Please, Anakin, if I wasn't this irritating before, I've clearly been letting you off easy.”

Anakin thinks back to their various training sessions together, and scowls. “Yeah, actually I think you have been.”

Obi-Wan snorts, very undignified, clapping Anakin on the back. “So now I suppose the _real_ training begins, and once again,” he gestures between them, “student, meet master.”

Anakin grows, palm connecting with his face again. “Force help me.”

Obi-Wan clicks his mouth while he winks, and gives Anakin fucking _finger-blasters_ before running off with Cody, who, if his shaking frame is to say anything, is about to bust a rib laughing.

It's the single least _Obi-Wan thing_ Anakin can even formulate in his brain, and he just sort of...stands there, for a full minute or two, eyes wide, before looking up at Fives, who can barely contain this own laughter.

“That…” he starts, “there’s no way that really happened. That's just something I made up. Please tell me that Obi-Wan didn't make finger-blasters at me. That was just some odd hallucination because of the filtered air.”

Fives remains silent.

“I mean, that's a thing, right?”

“Don't think so, Sir.”

Anakin and Fives trudge to the command tent together as Anakin tries to recover from what has just happened.

“So, Sir,” Fives starts. “Kenobi’s boys want to know if this means they're out of commission for the foreseeable future. Any ideas?”

Anakin wants to say yes, wants to make it highly unlikely that his tiny not-padawan will get hurt, but since he's fucking Obi-Wan “Danger Magnet” Kenobi, he'll probably figure out some way to get himself shot at anyway, and it's smarter to have the 212th ready to go at a moment’s notice.

“No. Just ask command to take extra care with him. I know he looks little, but he's 19, which is all grown up for a humanoid.”

Fives holds his hands in front of him in the air, one representing Obi-Wan’s current height, and the other Older-bi-Wan’s height.

“Okay, so not _grown_ -grown, but he's an adult. He can take care of himself. He's older than Ahsoka. Both in age and development stages. He's not the man he will be, but the foundations are there.” _‘I just hope I don't royally fuck it up.’_

“Got it, boss.”

“Also,” Anakin says, before he forgets, grabbing Fives by the arm. “As discretely as you can, ask them to keep as much distance between Obi-Wan and the Duchess as possible.”

Fives touches his index finger to his nose, showing he understands.

“Thanks. Now, let's get to the easy stuff, like getting shot at.”

Fives barks out a laugh. “I think the idea is to stop people from getting shot at.”

They enter the command tent, where Anakin is swarmed by brothers asking for information. He does his best to explain, but as he doesn't understand it himself, it's not very good.

“So it's permanent?” Kix asks.

“So far,” Obi-Wan’s voice says from the mouth of the tent.

“Where the rest of him?” Echo asks gruffly.

“Lying wait to kick your ass later,” Obi-Wan answer immediately.

The other clones in the tent laugh.

Kix walks up to Obi-Wan, looks him over, and drags him out of the tent.

Anakin looks over at Rex, confused.

“This is probably when he and Cody are going to cover the poor kid in armor.”

“Dream come true for both of them, I'm sure,” Anakin replies.

“Sometimes literally, I think.”

Anakin laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the original plan was that they would go to mandalore, but i figured that they wouldn't allow the clones there and i love them so i googled the wiki page for star wars planets and this one is technically canon anymore but eh *shrug*  
> comments are gonna make my fuckin month, pals, if you feel like leaving them.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin and Obi-Wan take on politics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. Infinity War broke my soul and sent me hurtling head first back into the oblivion-like pit of the Marvel fandom. That’s all. I’m sorry.   
> This chapter specifically dedicated to capt-jamestroublekirk on tumblr because holy shit he did ART. OF MY *THING.*  
> Go look at it, go reblog it, go show it all the love ever because it’s wonderful and it watered my creative crops. http://capt-jamestroublekirk.tumblr.com/post/174181384422/a-wip-illustrating-ch-13-of-kittycombswritings (I’m a fool who STILL doesn’t know how to make a link on ao3)

Anakin feels like he’s walking across lava for the next few days. 

The Duchess is scheduled to arrive soon, and he’s not quite sure what to think. 

Obi-Wan is the picture of a composed Jedi Knight, to everyone, which isn’t great. Anakin wants to grab his shoulders and tickle him until the line of his back softens, but that was barely received well by his Master. Better to not push it. 

So yeah, Anakin’s a bit of a mess. 

Obi-Wan, however, is thriving. He gets along great with the clones (thanks to his late night study session of the entire unit’s file, he remembers all their names), stress pushed aside whenever one of them tries to call him short. 

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Try hell hath no fury like an Obi-Wan Kenobi told he’s short. 

The Duchess arrives four days after them. She looks immaculate, of course. 

Obi-Wan sweeps into a galant bow and politely says, “Duchess.”

Satine’s jaw clenches, but she remains composed. “Master Kenobi.”

Anakin is standing close enough to Obi-Wan that he hears the slight catch to his breath, sees his stomach muscles tense, and watch his lips purse as his teeth clench. 

Obi-Wan is doing his damndest not to laugh his head off. 

“I’ve read the official documents of the predicament,” Obi-Wan says once he’s recovered, “but I would like to know your opinion on the matter. I’ve already spoken with the other party; by knowing what you both wish to get out of this arrangement, we should more easily be able to draft a plan that is to everyone’s best interests.”

Anakin smiles, and he hears Rex huff a small laugh behind him. 

All the clones are wearing their helmets, but Anakin can tell they’re all thinking the same thing.  _ That’s our boy.  _

“I think that would be a good idea,” Satine agrees. 

Obi-Wan gestures for her to proceed, pointing to the 212th command tent. 

Anakin, being the older and higher ranking of the two, should probably be offended by the fact that a Padawan is taking lead on this mission, but honestly Anakin is only in this one ‘for the lols’ as Ahsoka might say. It’s not a  _ seriously  _ pressing matter, and Obi-Wan  _ does  _ have a handle on it. 

Making diplomats listen to a Padawan and still have to be polite is  _ priceless.  _

“So,” Obi-Wan starts, pulling up a holomap. “As I understand it, the people of this region have been largely isolated for most of Mandalore’s existence. However, because of the war, that is no longer the case. They require a few post-disaster supplies and accommodations. Water, building materials, and the like.” He looks up a Satine and asks, not unkindly, “so what’s the problem?”

“There are over a thousand of them. Finding resources for them would put an enormous strain on the citizens of Mandalore. The committee has not found reason to assist them.”

Obi-Wan scoffs. “Have they ever heard of basic decency? Or is that too much of a radical thought for them.”

Satine turns and whispers something in Mandalorian to the rest of her entourage. 

Once they leave she turns to Obi-Wan. “I have to admit, this is a bit of a surprise.”

“Not really. I don’t know what happens to me in the future, but this is definitely not even in the top three weirdest things that have happened to me.”

Satine smiles. “I tried the ‘basic decency’ case on the other committee members, but it didn’t work. They aren’t technically Mandalorian citizens, so we have no financial obligations to them.” She sighs, rubbing her forehead. “Some people are unreasonable.”

Obi-Wan hums. “Trust me, I’m aware.”

Satine stands up a little bit straighter. “Do you have any ideas, Master Jedi?”

Obi-Wan looks over at Anakin. Anakin shrugs. He’s never been as good at this stuff as Obi-Wan. On Tatooine, you either bartered, stole, or starved. 

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “I’ll admit that my working knowledge of Mandalore’s history is not what it should be, but maybe you can enlighten me. Why are these people isolated?” He asks Satine.

She hesitates. “I’m not sure, actually. It’s one of those things where it’s always been that way.”

“Have you considered asking them if they would like to become citizens? Sure, they cannot contribute to the economy currently, but once they have rebuilt their colony, they have resources and outlook that you do not. Do you know what there is in that region?”

Satine’s brow furrows, thoughtfully. “No, I don’t.”

“Are you adverse to any carefully worded possible not-truths?”

She smiles at Obi-Wan. “Not necessarily.”

“Of course, we could always go and check.” Obi-Wan turns to Anakin. “Right, Anakin?”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. Brave the unknown, help the innocent, facilitate peace, all that good Jedi stuff.”

Obi-Wan smirks (the ‘actual’ Master Kenobi would have given Anakin a disparaging look for his flippancy). “Then I propose we do that and reconvene tomorrow, Duchess.”

“I am sure that the Jedi will provide us with an accurate, unbiased account of the region,” she replied, bowing slightly. She looks at Obi-Wan. “It  _ is  _ good to see you, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan freezes for half a moment. “Likewise, your grace,” he says smoothly. 

Obi-Wan stares at the holomap as she leaves. 

Anakin odd towards the opening of the tent, signaling for clones to leave. 

He walks up beside Obi-Wan and leans against the table. “So...how you feelin’?”

“Fine, really. It was...a bit odd,” Obi-Wan responds, “to see her looking older. She’s the first person I’ve seen from before who’s really...changed. She isn’t as self-righteous as she used to be all the time, which is fantastic. She would have beheaded me for even mentioning going through willful deception before.”

“Were you serious about exploring?” Anakin asks, to change the subject. 

“Absolutely,” Obi-Wan replies. 

“Great. You wanna go it just us, or should we invite some of Command along too?” Anakin lets his arm drop over Obi-Wan’s shoulder genially. 

“Alone. Just us.”

“Just like new times,” Anakin quips. 

“You know,” Obi-Wan responds, elbowing Anakin in the ribs. “You aren’t even a fourth as funny as you seem to think you are.”

Anakin cackles. 

***

After assuring Cody and Rex four times that, yes, he’s small, but Obi-Wan can still take care of himself, and  _ yes,  _ their comms work,  _ yes  _ they tested them, Anakin and Obi-Wan start working their way through the forest themselves. 

“Have you considered that maybe you and I should redo our bond?” Anakin asks over the noise of the creatures in the trees. 

“We has a bond?”

“Yes? Of course we did.”

“Didn’t we break it when your were knighted?”

Anakin blushes. “No.”

“Why not? I respect and admire Qui-Gon, he’s my Master, but I can’t  _ wait  _ to get him out of my head all the time. I can’t determine if he’s just very bad at shielding or if he prefers to just  _ not bother  _ with any shields at the most possible embarrassing moments.”

“Is he really that bad?” Anakin asks, trying to reconcile the stoic Jedi Master he knew with this version that Obi-Wan is talking about. 

“Probably not,” Obi-Wan admits. “But I just hope that I wasn’t in  _ your  _ head while you were trying to have your first kiss.”

Anakin laughs again. “No, you weren’t.”

“Then I was much nicer to you than Qui-Gon was to me.”

“Who was yours?” Anakin asks.

Obi-Wan blushes. “You can’t tell a  _ soul.  _ I know where you sleep, Skywalker.”

“Jedi’s honor.”

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. “Bant. She wanted to know want-”

“Wanted to know what it was like to kiss a humanoid,” Anakin finishes. 

“You bastard, you  _ knew.” _

Anakin smiles. “Yeah.”

“Well then, you need to tell me yours.”

It’s Anakin's turn to blush fantastically. “Padme Amidala.”

“I don’t know her.”

“She was Queen of Naboo. She’s a senator now. We met,” Anakin hesitates. “Well, we met when we were young. We thought there was something there for a while, but it smoked out before anything came of it. We’re still friends though. She’s probably my best friend outside the Jedi Order.”

“Just out of curiosity, is she also your  _ only  _ friend outside of the Order?”

Anakin huffs. “Yes.”

Obi-Wan stops dead in his tracks, making Anakin bang into him. 

“What the-” Anakin starts. 

“Shhhhhh!” Obi-Wan says, closing his eyes and extending his hands. “Anakin, do you feel that?”

Anakin takes a deep breath and focuses. “You mean the really dark presence that’s lurking around?”

“Yes, that.”

Anakin and Obi-Wan look at each other. 

“Anakin, I’ve got s bad feeling about this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyyyyy sorry this took so long, my brain just didn’t want to do Star Wars for some reason. Steve Rogers took up residence in the writing portion of my mind.   
> Love you dearly, I swear. Thank you for sticking with me.   
> I wrote this instead of sleeping.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to make up for leaving y'all high and dry

Anakin and Obi-Wan press back to back and draw their sabers. Both of them are quiet, waiting for something to happen. 

“Ah,” a deep voice says from the foliage. “Skywalker, I thought I felt your taint around here.”

Obi-Wan turns in the direction of the voice and tilts his head to the side like a confused lothcat. 

“Master Yan?”

Dooku makes a strangled noise, tripping out of the bushes very ungracefully. He stares at Obi-Wan. 

Obi-Wan rushes to him. 

“Master Yan! Are you alright, Grandmaster?” He asks, helping him up. 

Dooku puts one hand on his face, disbelieving. 

Anakin is fuming. 

“Obi...Wan?”

“Yes, it’s me, Master Yan. Did you hit your head?” Obi-Wan frets over Anakin’s third least favorite person. Or maybe second least. Maul, Dooku, and Ventress are all up their, along with their weird dark Sith Master. 

Anyway, point being, Obi-Wan is fretting over Count Dooku, feeling his head for lumps, close enough to him and Dooku wouldn’t even have to  _ try  _ to kill him. 

However, anakin can feel something shift in the Force. 

It’s centered around Dooku. 

Something about his presence softens, somehow. The pinkish tinge of nostalgia mingles with the orangey hue of regret. The darkness ebbs away as he looks at Obi-Wan. 

Dooku smiles, a little sadly. “I’m...I’m quite alright, Obi-Wan, thank you.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, turning towards him, “this is my Grandmaster, Yan Dooku.”

Anakin remembers their previous conversation in the Medbay.  _ ‘I think I would have liked being his Padawan.’ _

The mechanism in his arm whir as he clenches his fist. 

“We’ve met,” he says simply, voice flat. 

Dooku glares at him from behind Obi-Wan. 

“Did you know he was going to be here?” Obi-Wan asks. “I didn’t. How have you been, Grandmaster?”

Dooku swallows. “I’ve been doing quite well, thank you Obi-Wan.”

“Why are you here?” Anakin asks, just to see how long Dooku wants to keep up this charade. 

“I...it’s confidential, I’m afraid.”

Anakin scoffs and rolls his eyes. 

“Oh, is this a solo mission?” Obi-Wan asks, stars in his eyes. 

“Yes. Long term. I haven’t been to the Temple in several years.” He looks cautiously at Anakin, and places a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder in a very paternal fashion. “Although perhaps it is time I come back.”

Anakin’s jaw drops. Did he just say what Anakin thought he just said?

“But if your mission isn’t complete…” Obi-Wan starts, placing his hand over Dooku’s. 

“It was mostly reconnaissance. I’m sure that Knight Skywalker here has explained to you why we are at war?”

Obi-Wan nods. “They’ve explained just about everything to me. I had a Padawan myself! I trained Anakin. Or…” Obi-Wan looks confused, “future-me trained Anakin. I will have trained Anakin in the future, which is his past - it’s too confusing.”

Dooku cracks a wry smile. “That it is indeed.”

“Anyway, right now we’re checking this area for available resources, trying to figure out a good way for the Mandalorian committee to allow these people to become citizens, if they so desire, so that they can receive disaster relief.”

Anakin grabs Obi-Wan away. “How do you know our mission isn’t classified?”

“Because the mission packet would have said so?” Obi-Wan says disparagingly. “Why don’t you join us, Grandmaster?”

Dooku nods. “Lead the way, Padawan.”

Anakin seethed. 

***

They do, thankfully, discover a type of tree that would suffice enough as a ‘distinct beneficial resource’ to justify adding this group of people to the Mandalorian economy. 

Dooku lurks back by the trees as Obi-Wan helps facilitate the signing of the peace treaty. 

Anakin tells the clones to start packing up, taking down a tent by himself (with a little assistance from the Force), before walking over to Dooku. 

“I don’t like you.”

Dooku scoffs. “That is abundantly obvious.”

“If you think I’m going to bring you back to the Jedi Temple, you’ve got bantha-fodder for brains.”

“Anakin,” Dooku says, a little condescendingly, “do have some respect for your Great-Grandmaster.”

Anakin rolls his eyes. 

“Do you want to be the one to explain to Obi-Wan that I left the order because my Padawan died and the order did nothing to try to figure out what was happening. Darth Maul didn’t even die, although Obi-Wan did quite admirably in defeating him. I could not be more proud of him.” He looks over at where Obi-Wan is saying farewell to the diplomats. “But the council decided to leave it at that.” His expression darkens. “Too worried about their illusion of balance and perfection.”

Anakin rolls his eyes again. 

“I have never had any illusions that I am a perfect man, or that I was a perfect Jedi. But I do care for the good of the Galaxy.”

“Is that why you’re trying to separate it?”

“The Senate is an overblown ego-measuring contest that is too busy trying to one-up each other and stop those they have personal vendetta against to actually help those in need.”

Anakin opens his mouth to say something, but he has no retort. 

“Exactly. Are there senators who are genuinely trying to help? Absolutely. But they are few and far between. I have forced no one’s hand into separating from the GFFA. I have simply offered them another option.”

“So why do you want to rejoin now?” 

“I never said anything about rejoining the GFFA. I merely said perhaps it is time I return to the Temple.”

“Why?”

Dooku looks at Obi-Wan wistfully. “I am old man, Skywalker. Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Yoda were the only family I ever knew. My son is dead. My grandson has a reckless idiot like you watching his back. The Jedi Council sit in their tower and do nothing but debate. The Chancellor has turned the Jedi into his own standing army. I...have information that may stop this war.”

“Why now?” Anakin presses. 

“He...he has not refused me, yet. He is not biased against me for the power that I have wielded. A clean slate. A second chance. The Jedi have often said that they live in the galaxy, but they are not of the galaxy. Every Jedi ever, with the exception of yourself, has been raised in the Temple their entire life. They know nothing of the galaxy, of real suffering. They are so desensitized to the happenings of real emotions that they cannot fathom the depth of suffering others face. Obi-Wan knew this. Why do you think he let you continue to talk of your mother?”

“How did you know that!”

“I did not, until now,” Dooku smirks. “But it seems the sort of thing Obi-Wan would do. Any other Master would have struck you across the knuckles for even daring to think of her. Myself included, up till now. He left the order once, trying to help others.”

“Yeah, that I knew.”

“I love my son dearly. But he was not a good Master to Obi-Wan. I am glad he was, for Obi-Wan is a better progeny than any man might wish. But they were not well matched. One of my bitterest regrets is that I was not on planet to claim him at the proper time. I had an...affection, I suppose you could call it, for him when he was younger. He is very strong in the Force, and more importantly he is very wily. Why push a door down when you can unlock it?”

Obi-Wan jogs over to the two of them at that moment, smiling brightly. “Ready to go?”

Anakin glances over at Dooku, and the two men wordlessly come to a truce. “Sure. I just need to make a call first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My garbage grandpa is here my pals

**Author's Note:**

> come follow my writing blog that i made because i have friends irl that follow my normal blog and im embarrassed by my writing: [kittycombswriting](kittycombswriting.tumblr.com)
> 
> have a lovely morning/day/afternoon/evening/night, and if you decide to comment or kudos i will literally smile about it for weeks.


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